Arts & Entertainment
WANT to clog up everyone’s feeds with self-absorbed time-wasting? Here are six pieces of crap you can share today:
A WOMAN managed to make it through three pages of the book she planned to read during lockdown before calling it a day.
A MAN plans to behave as if he has seen Normal People then hope the conversation does not go into detail.
A WOMAN has politely reassured her husband that she can follow what is going on in the film by herself, thank you very f**king much.
A WOMAN has realised that she is no longer watching This Morning for a laugh and is genuinely just watching it.
THE blaring music from next door’s garden is actually a playlist they have especially put together for you, they have nervously admitted.
A WOMAN’S paperback copy of Normal People has three different speeds and ten different pleasure settings, she has confirmed.
PEOPLE in Britain are officially sick of doing f**king quizzes, they have confirmed.
BRITISH workers have demanded assurances that they get to see how Breaking Bad and Mad Men end before returning to their workplaces.
IN these locked-down times it’s hard to remember whether you are a real person or an animated Disney character.
A MAN is trapped in a never-ending nightmare of his wife binge-watching Irish relationship drama Normal People, he has confirmed.
THE UK has confirmed that it will always associate this tough and tragic time with that lube advert that is never off the air.