Arts & Entertainment

Twelve dead after hen party hears first notes of Mr Brightside

AN INCIDENT in a Stoke-on-Trent nightclub has left 12 trampled to death after a DJ put on The Killers’ Mr Brightside within earshot of a hen party.

Wedding band decides time is right for one of their own songs

A WEDDING band is under the wild delusion that the drunken crowd they are performing for wants to hear one of their original compositions.

Hot Glastonbury to suck just as hard

TENS of thousands of Glastonbury attendees are today discovering that a blazing hot weekend in a desperately overcrowded campsite is also hell.

The middle-aged person's guide to Glastonbury

HEADED to Glastonbury with a bad back and a heavy heart? Worried you’ll be raving about how great Stormzy is only to be politely told you’re watching Sean Paul?

How to accept you're a 'family festival' person now

DID you used to get blitzed on drugs at festivals, but now take your kids to the ones with craft tents and puppet shows?

Man won't read books written by women in case he turns into one

A MAN refuses to read any novels written by women for fear of gaining such a keen insight into the opposite gender that he becomes one.

Ed Sheeran wondering what to ruin next

SINGER-songwriter Ed Sheeran has already ruined music, Game of Thrones and ketchup but cannot decide what to wreck next.

No way woman in Sonic Youth t-shirt actually listens to them

THERE is no way a woman wearing a Sonic Youth t-shirt is really into all their weird, unlistenable sh*t, people have decided.

The parent's guide to sh*t teenage bands

TEENAGERS will always be in bands, no matter how overwhelming the evidence that they are extremely sh*t. Here’s how to navigate the worst problems of musical youth.

Five things to do that are slightly less miserable than watching The Handmaid's Tale

IF you want to feel distressed and unhappy you could watch the new series of The Handmaid’s Tale, or you could slam your hand in a drawer 78 times. Here are some other ideas.

Teenagers marvel as dad recalls putting on album and listening all the way through

TWO teenagers are finding it hard to believe their father would put on LPs and give them his undivided attention all the way through.

The Love Island contestant's guide to not being unbelievably stupid

ARE you a Love Island contestant worried that you’ll become a meme by saying something jaw-droppingly thick? Here are some basic things you should know about.