Arts & Entertainment

Woman ruins favourite song by listening to it for eight hours on a loop

A WOMAN who liked a song so much she listened to it for eight hours straight can no longer endure even the opening notes.

Government asked to save all theatre apart from Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals

THEATRE lovers would like the government to step in and save the performing arts sector apart from crap like Cats.

Five school lessons kids can learn at Thorpe Park

WORRIED your kids will fall behind now the schools are shut? Pack them off to Thorpe Park where they’ll learn these classroom classics.

Little Britain DVDs thrown into Bristol Harbour

LITTLE Britain DVDs have joined the Edward Colston statue at the bottom of Bristol Harbour, it has been confirmed.

Six genres of music you can listen to now you're middle-aged

DO you no longer have to impress people with your taste in music because you’re middle-aged and inarguably uncool?

Six shite quizzes to clog up everyone's social media

WANT to clog up everyone’s feeds with self-absorbed time-wasting? Here are six pieces of crap you can share today:

Woman manages three whole pages of her lockdown book

A WOMAN managed to make it through three pages of the book she planned to read during lockdown before calling it a day.

Man going to pretend he watches Normal People and hope no one asks him about it

A MAN plans to behave as if he has seen Normal People then hope the conversation does not go into detail.

'I understand the f**king plot of the f**king film' woman gently reminds husband

A WOMAN has politely reassured her husband that she can follow what is going on in the film by herself, thank you very f**king much.

Woman no longer watching This Morning ironically

A WOMAN has realised that she is no longer watching This Morning for a laugh and is genuinely just watching it. 

Neighbour blaring music in garden actually made this mixtape for you

THE blaring music from next door’s garden is actually a playlist they have especially put together for you, they have nervously admitted.

Woman's copy of Normal People has ten pleasure settings

A WOMAN’S paperback copy of Normal People has three different speeds and ten different pleasure settings, she has confirmed.