Arts & Entertainment

Question Time host realises that in 25 years he's achieved bugger all

DAVID Dimbleby has looked back at his 25 years in the Question Time chair and realised it was a complete waste of time.

Spice Girls headlining Glastonbury 'will end world'

IF the Spice Girls top the bill at the Glastonbury Festival, the world will cease to exist, it has been confirmed.

Wolf that blows down little pigs' houses gets own show on Channel 5

BIG bad wolves that can blow down little pigs houses are to get their own fly on the wall style documentaries on Channel 5.

You haven't even seen the episode where she kills Thatcher yet, say Doctor Who producers

DOCTOR Who producers cannot understand why critics are calling the show ‘too politically correct’ when the episode where she kills Thatcher has yet to screen.

New Mary Poppins film mostly about her spanking Jacob Rees-Mogg

THE new Mary Poppins film is to focus on the magical nanny’s later career of dealing out sexual discipline to Jacob Rees-Mogg.

BBC confirms next Question Time to come from Angryborough in South Bigotshire

THE next episode of topical panel show Question Time will be broadcast from Angryborough in the county of South Bigotshire.

Are you reading a proper book?

YOU’RE reading a book, which is good and you are deservedly congratulating yourself for. But is it a proper book, or is it crime or fantasy or sci-fi or some nonsense like that?

Attenborough admits latest series is all just CGI

SIR David Attenborough has admitted using CGI in his latest nature series because the earth is actually now just a giant industrial anus.

Man will go to his grave swearing Pink Floyd are good

A MAN has confirmed that until the day he dies, he will believe that the music of Pink Floyd is far better than all the other music.

Post-Brexit economy based largely on Spice Girls reunion tours

BRITAIN’S post-Brexit economy will rely heavily on Spice Girls reunion tours, it has been confirmed.

Death metal fan sure everyone would love it if they just gave it a chance

A FAN of death metal, as well as black, speed and 'doom' metal, is confident everyone would enjoy it as much as he does if they just gave it a go.

Manic Street Preachers horrified to discover they are still touring

THE members of the Manic Street Preachers were stunned to discover they are still playing dates across the country rather than living normal middle-aged lives.