Arts & Entertainment

Star Wars trailer heralds start of nerd mating season

THE mating season for nerds has begun early with the release of the new Star Wars trailer.

Man to take favourite anecdote on tour

A MAN who has found local success with an amusing anecdote about losing his dog has announced he will be taking it on a nationwide tour.

Which TV shows are you telling to f**k right off?

THERE’S nothing more relaxing than sitting in front of the television telling every smug, supercilious twat on there to go and fuck themselves. But who are you saying it to, and why?

How to pretend Game of Thrones isn't bollocks

DID you get into Game of Thrones but are reluctantly realising that it’s the same old fantasy bollocks with more torture and tits? Here’s how to pretend it’s deep one last time.

Teenager wants to tell you how good Kurt Cobain was

AN awestruck 15-year-old is breathlessly telling everyone how incredible Kurt Cobain was and what a terrible loss his death was.

Man in flat cap trying to be Peaky Blinders but ending up Last of the Summer Wine

A MAN who thinks his flat cap makes him resemble a stylish 1920s gangster actually resembles an elderly Yorkshireman in a gentle comedy, according to friends.

'Woke' man trying desperately to explain Motley Crue CDs in car

A 'WOKE' man is twisting himself in knots attempting to explain some Mötley Crüe CDs in his car.

Amateur photographer captures moment dream of being a photographer dies

AN amateur photographer has captured the exact moment she realised she bought an expensive camera for nothing.

What's that bloody thing everyone's watching on their phones?

EVERYONE on trains and buses seems to be watching a gripping TV drama, or possibly a film, on their phone. But what the bloody hell is it?

Nine-month-old in Nirvana babygro actually much more into Pearl Jam

A BABY wearing a Nirvana babygro actually much prefers their contemporaries Pearl Jam, he has admitted.

'Predator' to win all film awards for 30th consecutive year

PREDATOR is set to continue its unbroken run of winning every film prize since 1988.

Woman almost leaves Hollyoaks on

A WOMAN who almost left Hollyoaks on while in front of the television has told friends how shaken she was by the near-miss.