Arts & Entertainment

I could be the consummate grime artist if I wished, Rees-Mogg tells Stormzy

JACOB Rees-Mogg has asserted that if he were to become a grime MC his intelligence and natural authority would place him in pole position.

Man refuses to suspend disbelief for The Greatest Showman

A FATHER-OF-TWO has been accused of wilfully refusing to suspend disbelief while watching films with his family.

The idiot's guide to reacting to Star Wars trailers

WHEN a new Star Wars trailer comes out your first duty is to rush to the internet and be a twat about it. Try these strategies.

Cheerful new Sarah Lancashire drama is antidote to Brexit dark times

A NEW and typically upbeat Sarah Lancashire drama, The Accident, will put a smile back on the face of angst-ridden Britain, TV bosses have promised.

Pedantic twat's hobby is hating films everyone loves

A MAN has admitted his main pastime is despising films that are univerally adored.

Boris Johnson's screenplay: the excerpts

IN 2015 Boris Johnson, then just a lowly backbench MP, wrote a blockbuster film script. Here are a few key excerpts.

Your step-by-step guide to painting a £10 million Banksy

GRAFFITI artist Banksy has just sold a frankly bollocks painting for ten million quid. Here’s how to paint your own.

Bake Off contestant wishing they were 'Mad Halloween Woman' or 'Fringe Girl'

A CONTESTANT on The Great British Bake Off  is worried they are lacking a bizarre, but essential quirk.

How to make a documentary about benefits scroungers

DOCUMENTARIES about people claiming benefits are as popular with Channel 5 viewers as ever, but could you make one?

Horrible songs for buskers to ruin everyone's day

MAKING c*ck-all money busking so want to take revenge on everyone on your high street instead? Try these numbers:

Woman queuing for Downton Abbey realises she cannot remember a single character

A WOMAN queuing to see the Downton Abbey film has realised that she cannot remember a single thing about any of the characters.

Carry On films found to be sexist

THE Carry On series of films has been exposed as sexist, homophobic, racially insensitive and frankly outdated in every way.