Arts & Entertainment
HI, I'm Mark Kermode and it's fine if you think I'm a twat.
IT’S that time of year when musos gather to prove who’s got the oddest and therefore best taste in music with the Mercury Music Prize. Here’s the shortlist.
A MAN who thinks people should read more is absolutely horrified with everyone's choice of reading.
DOCTOR Who is a totally unrealistic and quite annoying role model for children, parents have realised.
DEAR Boris, I too am a bulbous pink figure with a toothy grin who went from media darling to widely despised irritant.
AN ENGLAND fan has been jailed for writing a song called Ball of Victory.
THE 13-year-old who created ITV2’s Love Island has been grounded indefinitely by his parents.
A FILM studies graduate cannot believe cinemagoers simply enjoyed a film that was entertaining and fun without being an intellectual twat about it.
A WOMAN is disgusted her boyfriend would behave like the men on Love Island, which he would because he is a representative of his gender.
READING a book in a cafe, on the Tube or at the wheel of your car makes you look wise and mysterious, even if you’re just posing and not taking in a word.
Beyonce and Jay-Z release album about when she left the bath running and it ruined the kitchen ceiling
BEYONCE and Jay-Z have released a joint album about that time she left the bath running and it overflowed through the kitchen ceiling.
A MAN has stood at the very front of a concert shouting for the band’s biggest song even though they're fucking obviously going to play it at some point anyway.