Arts & Entertainment

BBC Unveils Lavish Adaptation Of The Taunting Of Andrew Sachs

THE BBC last night re-established its reputation for quality programming as it unveiled a lavish multi-million pound drama based on the taunting of Andrew Sachs.

BBC Slammed For Inter-Racial Pasa Doble

THE BBC is under fire for defiling the white race and encouraging intimacy with people of colour.

Artist Unveils Kate Moss Candle Holder

ARTIST Marc Quinn last night unveiled his latest work – a life-size Kate Moss candle holder made of solid gold.

Taggart Violence Probably Not Real, Says ITV

ITV has defended screening violent Scottish police drama Taggart during the afternoon insisting the gruesome scenes probably involved acting. 

Next Bond film to break new ground with tits, cars and punching

THE next James Bond film will offer a radically different approach by focusing on tits, cars and punching.

Eastenders Tackles Serious Issue Of Jailbait

THE BBC last night dismissed criticism of Eastenders, insisting it was tackling the vitally important issue of beating Coronation Street.

All Right - It's Shit, Queen Tells Top Poet

THE Queen last night gave in to demands to offer her opinion on the work of the Poet Laureate, telling him it was 'third-rate bollocks'.

Dubstep Old Hat As Fans Embrace Bumfunking

DUBSTEP pioneer Burial shocked the music world last night as he announced he was abandoning the genre that made his name for the rival style of Bumfunking.

Diana Film Not About Diana Obviously About Diana

A FILM about Princess Diana that the film-makers say is not about Princess Diana is obviously about Princess Diana, cinemagoers said last night.

Aaron Sorkin To Write Film About Norwich Union

WEST Wing creator Aaron Sorkin is to make a feature-length movie about insurance giant Norwich Union. 

Nun Lovers Devastated

THE hopes of nun fans across the world were shattered last night after the cancellation of the first ever nun beauty contest.

Brown To Appear In Hilarious Recession Video

GORDON Brown has begun his political fightback by appearing in a hilarious video about Britain's looming economic collapse.