Arts & Entertainment
AMY Winehouse fans should stop buying her records because she is a croaky voiced skank who sounds like a goose being forced arse first into a trombone, her grandmother said last night.
SIXTY-FIVE new housemates, including a platoon of Gurkhas, were introduced into Big Brother last night, swelling numbers in the show for its tense final week to over 200.
JUST looking at the poster for License to Wed, a new comedy starring Robin Williams, reveals the film's catastrophic shitness, it was claimed last night.
TOP World of Warcraft player Jason Stibbles could be forced to give up masturbation altogether after the hugely popular online game unveiled its new expansion called Wrath of the Lich King.
ROCK legend Keith Richards is to write his memoirs, filled with intimate details of his life as a member of The Beatles.
EVERYTHING broadcast across the BBC network is a deliberate and malicious falsehood, director general Mark Thompson confirmed last night.
HARRY Potter author JK Rowling has revealed that the last sentence of the final volume in the seven book series will be "and then I woke up and it had all been a dream".
VICTORIA Beckham's breasts have become Scientologists as part of a daring strategy to carve out an independent life for themselves in Los Angeles.
SIR Terry Wogan and Gaby Roslin are to host a massive ‘snitch-athon’ to encourage the general public to inform on their friends, neighbours and colleagues.
THE Spice Girls are re-uniting to take their glittering “Avarice” show on tour citing a deep love of money as the driving force that brought them back together.
TONY Blair and George Bush are set to invade the music charts after forming a hillbilly jug band.
CENSORS have welcomed a new version of the controversial game Manhunt in which players rampage through Glastonbury wiping out solicitors pretending to be hippies for the weekend.