Universities remove requirement to be into Radiohead

STUDENTS must no longer show ‘an appreciation or enjoyment of the music of Radiohead’ to attend university after a change in rules. 

The Radiohead provision, added to law by Tony Blair following the band’s Glastonbury set in 1997, has forced generations of students to nod pensively along to Kid A in order to enter higher education.

But following appeals from vice-chancellors and the widely reviled King of Limbs album the outdated regulation has been scrapped, to the relief of thousands of 17-year-olds.

Nikki Hollis of Worcester said: “I’d been practicing with my dad in the car but once you get past the basic level, ie The Bends, it’s impossible to actually enjoy.

“My older brother got thrown out of Warwick after he called In Rainbows ‘wank’ on a night out and it got back to his tutor. He still owes 18 grand in student loans and has to sleep in his car.”

Tutor Dr Helen Archer said: “It’s a shame to lose the grand traditions of university, like wearing mortarboards or suffering through Hail To The Thief through the thumping headache of bad hash.

“Still, we have to modernise. And more importantly we need shitloads of Chinese students just to finance ourselves until Christmas.”