Airline Collapse Leaves Travellers Stranded On Dinosaur Island

THE collapse of budget airline Flyglobespan has left hundreds of passengers marooned on a remote island populated by dinosaurs and cannibals.

'All you get is an answering machine'

The uncharted tropical island, known among local tribes as 'The Place Where Death Walks', features a rudimentary air strip used by the company as a base for connecting flights to places like Normandy.

But the collapse of the airline has left a steadily dwindling band of holidaymakers at the mercy of T-Rexes, pterodactyls and a community of cave-dwelling cannibals led by a 28-stone shaman who wears a pendant made of dried human livers.

Speaking on his mobile phone, stranded father-of-two Bill McKay said: "I paid £184 plus taxes to see my cousin Roger in New Zealand and here I am barricaded inside the plane, watching velociraptors tearing apart a fat family from Kent on the runway while huge leathery flying carnivores use their vast razor beaks to try and peck through the windows.

"You rely on these companies but when things go wrong they don't give a stuff."

Several of the frustrated holidaymakers have also reported family members being picked off by a sort of spider/lizard hybrid which inseminates humans with its eggs via a long scaly tongue, causing the snarling offspring to burst out of its victims' throats 48 hours later.

Emma Bradford, from Totnes, said: "This has been a total nightmare. Flyglobespan aren't answering their phones, there are no refreshment facilities and my husband is being digested by a massive carnivorous plant.

"When we get home I'm starting a Facebook group about this."

However, Stephen Malley from Swindon was more philosophical: "You have to accept the odd hiccup. I've fashioned a crude spear, daubed my naked body with stripes of blood and fully intend to just get on with it until help arrives."

He added: "The weather's been fantastic and I've got a really nice photo of a stegosaurus fighting a giant bat."