Come And See Our Hot Lesbians, Says Swindon
SWINDON is a hotbed of unbridled lesbian sex, the town’s borough council claimed last night.
The Wiltshire town has unveiled a multi-million campaign to establish itself as Britain’s answer to Chako Paul City, the mythical Swedish town filled with 25,000 beautiful lesbians that men say simply has to exist.
A council spokesman said: “Our lesbians are totally uninhibited and can’t resist stripping off and caressing each other’s taut bodies in the street.
“Just a minute ago I saw a pair of them going at it on the bench outside Poundstretcher, soon attracting a dozen or so more who arrived clutching cans of whipped cream and a big bag of courgettes.
“Many of our local lesbians wear school or nurse uniforms, while others prefer to dress as 80s-style warrior princesses with chainmail bikinis and massive rubber swords. I’m thinking Beastmaster or maybe Red Sonja with Brigitte Neilsen.”
He added: “And while the lesbian sexual debauchery never ends in Swindon, the town also boasts an excellent railway history museum, a Debenhams and one of Europe’s largest roundabouts.”
But some local residents insist the promotional leaflets, which feature the slogan ‘Lez go to Swindon’ and cut-out images of the actresses from Young Emmanuelle superimposed over an aerial shot of Swindon’s burgeoning industrial park, are misleading.
Bill McKay, a retired policeman, said: “It’s nonsense, there’s never been any lesbians in Swindon, apart from that quiet librarian who wore flat shoes, but she moved away after some kids set fire to her shed.”
Despite the controversy, several other UK boroughs have been quick to follow suit with similar campaigns, including ‘Winchester – One Massive Orgy’ and ‘Luton: The Town Where Breasts are Made’.