Business
For f**k’s sake don’t solve the housing crisis, say selfish bastards
OWNERS of hugely overvalued houses are lobbying the government to make the housing crisis even worse.
Man gives to charity without going to a f**king ball
SCIENTISTS were shocked to announce the discovery of a man who is capable of giving to charity without attending an exclusive black-tie gala event.
Carillion directors nicking loads of stuff from abandoned building sites
THE directors of Carillion are half-inching as much gear as they can from the company's abandoned projects, it has emerged.
Self-employed builder makes bid for Carillion contracts
A SELF-EMPLOYED builder who owns his own lorry has bid for Carillion’s prison, hospital, school and Ministry of Defence contracts.
Stressed workaholic finds plenty of time to tell you about it
A MAN who is constantly 'up to his eyes' in work always has an hour free to complain about just hard he is working, it has emerged.
Only 90 per cent of Airbnb rooms have hidden cameras
AIRBNB users have been reassured by reports that only nine out of 10 AirBnB rooms have secret cameras recording their every move.
Government sets up single massive company to shaft everyone in Britain
A VAST new company will ensure every last penny of your money is turned into profit for the private sector, the government has announced.
Please explain the concept of a 'taxi' to us again, says Uber
AN Uber executive has asked the European court if it can explain what a ‘taxi’ is again but slower because he still does not get it.
Man buys worthwhile item at Christmas market
A MAN has found and purchased something of use at a Christmas market, it has been confirmed.
Toys R Us collapse possibly linked to it being most expensive shop in Britain
THE threatened closure of Toys R Us has been linked by parents to it being easily the most expensive place to shop in the whole of the UK.
Smug bitcoin bastards must get their comeuppance before New Year, demands Britain
THE UK has demanded that all the smug bastards who own bitcoin lose their entire investment before Christmas.
Office brainstorming session produces nothing but evil thoughts
A GATHERING of workers to generate business ideas only produced dark and twisted visions, it has emerged.