CURRY restaurants are facing bankruptcy after a lettuce shortage means they have no limp salads for diners to disregard.
IN an act of unprecedented generosity, Britain’s train companies have confirmed they will never set fire to your house.
A LOCAL odd job man has admitted that some jobs are too big or small for him.
TESCO is buying Londis because they can charge 85p for a Tizer and up to £1.60 for a loaf of white bread.
THE only healthy person on his office floor is considering faking a chesty cough to fit in better.
THE length of time a person has been on hold to a call centre is to be reflected by increasingly furious hold music.
SOUTHERN Rail has ominously announced that its dreaded ‘full service’ is set to resume.
BRITONS with jobs are either desperately under-employed freelancers or working like a bastard, it has emerged.
PRET A Manger has announced plans to open its ten millionth London branch by the end of the decade.
THE head of a massive company has earned more than your annual salary in just four days, although to be fair you don’t really work very hard.
ATTEMPTS to bribe the workforce with cake have failed miserably, it has been confirmed.
DESPERATE grandmothers across Britain are willing to pay between £1,000 and £10,000 for endangered pink wafers.