THE new one pound coin would rather not be attached to a doomed currency, it has confirmed.
WORKERS have expressed no surprise that their strange new colleague was educated by his parents.
ECONOMISTS have explained what rising inflation means by asking if you remember the fourth-hand Chopper bike you got for your birthday in 1978.
APPLE has denied that the Apple Watch ever existed.
A BOSS who claimed in a job interview that everyone in his office was crazy was desperately asking for help, a new employee has discovered.
CORPORATIONS that hate and fear women have wished them a happy International Women’s Day.
A MAN is loathed by his colleagues for not working regular extra hours for no money.
FACEBOOK has begged users to behave like vaguely normal human beings.
THE boss of a small business has compared a minor staffing issue to a terrifying maritime disaster, it has emerged.
A NUMBER of Bovis houses have appeared on shelves at TK Maxx after recent damage to the brand.
HARDWARE and building supplies retailer Screwfix has introduced a ‘sexy and stylish’ dress code.
A WOMAN who has never visited a Waitrose still claimed it was her favourite supermarket in a consumer survey, she has admitted.