THE UK’s borrowers and mortgage-holders have been reassured that yesterday’s interest rate cut will not affect their monthly repayments.
TWENTY per cent of HSBC cashpoint withdrawals will release deadly venomous snakes in order to restore the bank’s profits, they have confirmed.
A FORMER banker who is now a baker cannot help mentioning how much money he used to earn.
BAKER Greggs has unveiled a series of lighter menu options for people who lack the integrity to buy a sausage roll.
PROPERTY is to be placed in eye-catching displays at supermarket and garage tills to encourage impulse home ownership, the government has announced.
MCDONALD'S has become an ethical burger chain by a process of elimination.
A WOMAN has landed a sought-after job because of her ability rather than some complex network of personal connections.
BURGER restaurant Byron has been accused of acting in full accordance with UK immigration law.
LLOYDS Bank has disposed of 3,000 local bank workers who started the financial crisis from their roles behind counters.
BANKS are to introduce a policy of keeping all of their customers’ money for themselves, they have announced.
SIR Philip Green has confirmed plans to ignore a few weeks of criticism for his role in the BHS collapse and still be rich at the end of it.
A COMPANY’S production line was halted yesterday after one of its products almost failed to be covered in pointless, annoying stickers.