THE EU has ruled that Apple is not a kindly old crofter living in an isolated cottage in County Mayo, as it had claimed for tax purposes.
A MAN has returned to the office furious at how much work was left undone by his lazy bastard self from a fortnight ago.
MOTHERS do not mind earning a third less because having children is so wonderful, a report has found.
A CHAIN of pubs called The Brexiteer has opened for people who are jubilant about leaving the EU.
OLYMPICS-RELATED office 'fun' only serves to highlight the shitness of work, it has emerged.
THE UK’s borrowers and mortgage-holders have been reassured that yesterday’s interest rate cut will not affect their monthly repayments.
TWENTY per cent of HSBC cashpoint withdrawals will release deadly venomous snakes in order to restore the bank’s profits, they have confirmed.
A FORMER banker who is now a baker cannot help mentioning how much money he used to earn.
BAKER Greggs has unveiled a series of lighter menu options for people who lack the integrity to buy a sausage roll.
PROPERTY is to be placed in eye-catching displays at supermarket and garage tills to encourage impulse home ownership, the government has announced.
MCDONALD'S has become an ethical burger chain by a process of elimination.
A WOMAN has landed a sought-after job because of her ability rather than some complex network of personal connections.