Business
Britain returns to pretending to work
BRITAIN'S workers have returned to staring purposefully at their screens for eight hours.
Real-life Scrooge expects team to do some work this week
A REAL-LIFE version of Scrooge has cruelly demanded his merry staff do some work this week.
Ryanair to compensate passengers by never letting them fly Ryanair again
RYANAIR has agreed to compensate passengers whose flights were cancelled by banning them from flying Ryanair ever again.
Japanese car companies admit pulling out of UK is scare story and true story
JAPANESE car companies will pull out of the UK if there is a no-deal Brexit, but admitted that must be really scary.
May pays full price for item in Sports Direct
THERESA May has bought the only non-discounted item in Sports Direct, it has emerged.
Man messes Amazon driver around by getting to the door in time
AN inconsiderate arsehole took delivery of an Amazon parcel instead of allowing the delivery man to run off after one knock, it has emerged.
People who wear their company logo outside work 'usually twats'
EMPLOYEES of large companies who wear their company logo in their leisure time are usually prize bellends, it has emerged.
Man believes CD collection worth actual money
A 45-YEAR-OLD has confirmed plans to sell his treasured CD collection for the few hundred pounds he still believes he will get for them.
Stoke to become UK’s biggest Wetherspoons
THE city of Stoke is to become the UK’s largest branch of Wetherspoons following Britain’s exit from the European Union.
Firing people nowhere near as hard as everyone thinks, boss discovers
A MIDDLE-MANAGER has discovered that sacking employees is not ‘the hardest part of the job’ but actually quite a buzz.
I only made staff sign non-disclosure agreements because I am too nice, says Green
SIR Philip Green made employees sign non-disclosure agreements to stop everyone finding out what a big-hearted softie he is, he has confessed.
Currys buries last elderly customer in low-quality fridge
IN a moving ceremony, the last person who shops at Currys these days was committed to the ground in a mediocre fridge-freezer.