SPENDING £110 billion on HS2 to help people move around the country faster is just what this pandemic needs, the government has confirmed.
BUDGET supermarket Aldi is restricting shoppers to one fluorescent all-in-one ski suit per person, and no more than two waterproof cuckoo clocks.
CAPITALISM has confirmed that the more vital to society your work is, the less you therefore earn.
MIDDLE-CLASS grocer Marks & Spencer are launching an essential food delivery box for £35 plus delivery. These items should keep your household a cut above.
A 19-YEAR-OLD Lidl employee is keeping a photo in his pocket of the sweetheart he will marry when this madness is over.
EIGHT years ago you gave us your email address, so like every other business you’ve ever interacted with we’re sending a baffling and pointless coronavirus email.
MIKE Ashley has offered to open his Sports Direct stores to help public health but, as a compromise, will stop paying his staff.
THE HS2 line linking London and Birmingham, which are already linked, is currently set to cost £100bn. What else could that money buy?
PEOPLE who have been complaining about the evils of Amazon for years have been forced to admit that the Saudi Arabian Royal family might just have the edge.
SUPERMARKETS have confirmed that it is Easter now.
THE Queen is to boost royal revenues by selling advertising space on the side of swans.
CHILDREN’S Build-A-Bear parties are actually sweatshops, it has emerged.