Business
Waitrose closing stores because you're not good enough for them
WAITROSE is closing stores across the UK because Britons are not the ‘quality people’ they need in their shops.
Intern adds 'procuring and distributing varied, challenging ice-cream order' to CV
AN intern at a London office is turning her menial role bringing everyone ice-cream into proof that she is a dynamic self-starter.
We insist on only the finest French champagne, say Wetherspoons' aristocratic customers
ARISTOCRATS who drink at Wetherspoons have threatened a boycott after the chain revealed it will no longer sell the fine French champagnes they demand.
Petrol going up to stop everyone moving to France
THE price of petrol is increasing to stop everyone from moving to France, it has emerged.
We get it, you like Primark, says New Look
NEW Look is to refocus on selling shit clothing dirt-cheap because that is apparently what Britain wants.
PR professional unable to make people like her
A PUBLIC relations professional is unable to make people like her, it has emerged.
Saturday girl in Topshop directly responsible for company policies and welcomes your feedback
THE teenage girl working in Topshop today is in direct in contact with the CEO and will pass on all your thoughts on how the retailer should be operated, she has confirmed.
Woman boycotting Lush because of hideous smell rather than anti-police campaign
THE most offensive thing about Lush is getting an instant scent-induced migraine as soon as you step through the door, it has been claimed.
Women 'too weak to work in offices and could be witches', say bosses
COMPANIES have denied their reasons for not employing women at senior levels are completely pathetic.
Greggs workers to get bonus of 1,000 steak bakes
EVERY member of Greggs’ staff will receive enough steak bakes to fill a small skip as a thank you for their loyalty, the bakery has announced.
WH Smith to modernise by doing video rentals
HIGH street newsagent WH Smith is pinning its hopes on renting out VHS and Betamax videos.
Mums will defend threatened M&S stores 'to the death'
MUMS have formed a militia to defend their favourite branches of Marks & Spencer by any means necessary, they have confirmed.