Business

Big tubs of chocolates right at front of supermarket just for no reason

TUBS of Heroes and Celebrations have been placed right by the entrance of every supermarket just in case you fancy them for whatever reason, say retailers.

Pub improves smoking area by adding walls, roof, toilets and bar

A PUB has revamped its smoking area by adding walls, a roof and a bar selling beer.

Supermarkets stocking up on bizarre impulse buys for panicking, hungry freshers

SUPERMARKETS are stocking up on strange, exotic ingredients for first-year students who have never had to feed themselves before.

Colleague's 'friendly reminder' has surprisingly unfriendly tone 

A FRIENDLY email reminder is actually quite hostile, it has emerged.

Satan buys Wonga's loan book

THE Devil has bought the £400m loan book of bankrupt payday lender Wonga to take possession of all 200,000 souls inside.

We sell designer clothes for below retail price and sweets for well above, says TK Maxx

TK MAXX has explained that it makes a profit on £50 Gucci jeans by selling liquorice whirls by the counter for £3.50.

Mike Ashley attacks 'greedy' landlords from inside giant pie

SPORTS Direct owner Mike Ashley has attacked 'greedy' commercial landlords with bathing in an 18ft meat pie.

Britain's best and worst chip shops basically identical

THE BEST chip shop in Britain is basically the same as the shittest, it has been confirmed.

Could we run the prison if we called ourselves a business? ask prisoners

INMATES at HMP Birmingham have asked if they could continue running the prison if they called themselves L4G. 

Couple who bought house now interested in 'the economy'

A COUPLE who bought a house are suddenly interested in 'the economy', their friends have confirmed.

Company seeking 'superstar' settles for deeply mediocre office drone

A COMPANY that wrote a sickeningly over-the-top advert for a boring job has had to rethink its expectations.

Quaint market town would secretly love massive Tesco

RESIDENTS of a sleepy Shropshire market town would be absolutely stoked if a massive Tesco opened, they have confirmed.