Business
Brexit to revive struggling Readers' Wives industry
A HARD Brexit would give the UK’s struggling Readers’ Wives industry the shot in the arm it needs to survive, experts believe.
Now the recycling man won't know how much wine you drink, says Waitrose
WAITROSE has launched a new bring-your-own-container policy so the neighbours and binmen will never know how much you drink.
Mechanic wasn't going to rip man off until he opened his mouth
A MECHANIC was genuinely going to charge a fair price to fix a car until its owner provoked him by saying something.
Cockney economists confirm national debt is 353 billion monkeys
EAST End economists have warned that the UK’s debt stands at 353bn monkeys, or 176.5bn bags of sand.
Quirky start-up is based in normal office and pays its staff with money
A START-UP company is based in a normal office instead of a giant playground and is paying people a fair wage instead of free kombucha.
Your guide to giving a bullshit business presentation
CALLED upon to give a presentation at work? Here’s how to hit the right note of business bullshit to drive the company drones wild.
Debenhams closure may leave airports only place men can try on aftershave
THE threatened closure of Debenhams would leave men only able to find out which aftershave they prefer at airports.
Use our shitty website which doesn't work to save us money, says train company
A TRAIN company is sick of passengers wanting it to employ real people when they could just go on its completely useless website.
Depressed high streets merger creates 'charity vape betting shops'
A MERGER of crap businesses on Britain’s failing high streets has created the brand-new ‘charity vape betting shop’.
Are you the irritating new keen person?
HAVE you just started a new job and are getting on everyone’s tits with your unquenchable enthusiasm for every aspect of it?
High-achieving woman has strict morning routine and shitloads of money
A WOMAN who credits her success to her disciplined morning routine somehow neglects to mention the fact she inherited £3.2m aged 21.
Hip young entrepreneur opens trendy cafe in town that only eats pies
A YOUNG businessman is convinced his fashionable eatery in an unadventurous Northern town will start making money soon.