Business

Women 'too weak to work in offices and could be witches', say bosses

COMPANIES have denied their reasons for not employing women at senior levels are completely pathetic.

Greggs workers to get bonus of 1,000 steak bakes

EVERY member of Greggs’ staff will receive enough steak bakes to fill a small skip as a thank you for their loyalty, the bakery has announced.

WH Smith to modernise by doing video rentals

HIGH street newsagent WH Smith is pinning its hopes on renting out VHS and Betamax videos.

Mums will defend threatened M&S stores 'to the death'

MUMS have formed a militia to defend their favourite branches of Marks & Spencer by any means necessary, they have confirmed.

Fray Bentos to change pie tin but keep contents disgusting

THE makers of Fray Bentos pies have reassured fans that although the tins are changing, the contents will remain vile.

You shouldn't be getting trains if you haven't done the research, say operators

RAIL operators have told passengers to stop using trains if they are too lazy to spend a few hours researching ticket prices.

Desperate TSB customers using a barter system to pay for food

TSB CUSTOMERS are now using a barter system to pay for rent and food, they have confirmed. 

Sainsbury's-Asda merger 'could show middle-class shoppers the futility of their pathetic aspirations'

A PROPOSED merger between Sainsbury’s and Asda will finally make middle-class Britain realise its imagined superiority is nothing but a lie.