AWKWARD continental-style hugs and kisses are a social minefield. Here’s how to get them really wrong.
HIGH street retailer Matalan has changed its slogan to ‘for the mum who’s given up on life’.
STERLING has plummeted to an all-time low against the Nectar point.
DID you forget that the deadline to claim PPI compensation was August 29th, 2019?
ANY business opposing a no-deal Brexit is committing treason and everything they make should be boycotted and burned. Here’s a list of today’s un-products:
JD Wetherspoons has confirmed that it will be removing all foreign drinks from its pubs and replacing them with proper British bags of sniffing glue.
SCANNING your own shopping provides excellent opportunities for annoying other customers. Here’s how to make everyone behind you want to ram a courgette up your arse.
A RURAL pub has doubled its wine list by adding a second option.
A HARD Brexit would give the UK’s struggling Readers’ Wives industry the shot in the arm it needs to survive, experts believe.
WAITROSE has launched a new bring-your-own-container policy so the neighbours and binmen will never know how much you drink.
A MECHANIC was genuinely going to charge a fair price to fix a car until its owner provoked him by saying something.
EAST End economists have warned that the UK’s debt stands at 353bn monkeys, or 176.5bn bags of sand.