RESIDENTS of a sleepy Shropshire market town would be absolutely stoked if a massive Tesco opened, they have confirmed.
HUMANS do not celebrate the anniversary of getting their job, the world has told LinkedIn.
WETHERSPOON has unveiled its new 'Brexit Chaos' breakfast, which includes an unknown quantity of vague, ever-changing ingredients.
SHOP assistants asking if you 'need any help' definitely suspect you of shoplifting, it has been revealed.
I lost my life savings for nothing more than being a naive, greedy bastard who fell for a get-rich-quick scheme
IT could never happen to me, people say. And unless you’re an avaricious knobhead so convinced of their superiority they believe they can double their money in six months, you’re right.
A BOSS has taken all the credit for his team’s work despite mostly just distracting them with management toss.
WAITROSE is closing stores across the UK because Britons are not the ‘quality people’ they need in their shops.
AN intern at a London office is turning her menial role bringing everyone ice-cream into proof that she is a dynamic self-starter.
ARISTOCRATS who drink at Wetherspoons have threatened a boycott after the chain revealed it will no longer sell the fine French champagnes they demand.
THE price of petrol is increasing to stop everyone from moving to France, it has emerged.
NEW Look is to refocus on selling shit clothing dirt-cheap because that is apparently what Britain wants.
A PUBLIC relations professional is unable to make people like her, it has emerged.