THE BEST chip shop in Britain is basically the same as the shittest, it has been confirmed.
INMATES at HMP Birmingham have asked if they could continue running the prison if they called themselves L4G.
A COUPLE who bought a house are suddenly interested in 'the economy', their friends have confirmed.
A COMPANY that wrote a sickeningly over-the-top advert for a boring job has had to rethink its expectations.
RESIDENTS of a sleepy Shropshire market town would be absolutely stoked if a massive Tesco opened, they have confirmed.
HUMANS do not celebrate the anniversary of getting their job, the world has told LinkedIn.
WETHERSPOON has unveiled its new 'Brexit Chaos' breakfast, which includes an unknown quantity of vague, ever-changing ingredients.
SHOP assistants asking if you 'need any help' definitely suspect you of shoplifting, it has been revealed.
I lost my life savings for nothing more than being a naive, greedy bastard who fell for a get-rich-quick scheme
IT could never happen to me, people say. And unless you’re an avaricious knobhead so convinced of their superiority they believe they can double their money in six months, you’re right.
A BOSS has taken all the credit for his team’s work despite mostly just distracting them with management toss.
WAITROSE is closing stores across the UK because Britons are not the ‘quality people’ they need in their shops.
AN intern at a London office is turning her menial role bringing everyone ice-cream into proof that she is a dynamic self-starter.