Business

Ryanair cancellations 'act of kindness in many ways'

FLIGHT cancellations mean that thousands will be spared the ordeal of travelling with Ryanair, it has emerged.

Bus company announces plan to do its job properly

A BUS company has unveiled a radical new approach that involves buses running vaguely on time.

Successful team building weekend focuses on how much everyone hates company

A TEAM-BUILDING weekend has succeeded because it focused on workers’ shared loathing of their employer.

Woman finally switches from Topshop to M&S

A 36-YEAR-OLD woman says she feels ‘relieved and happy’ after admitting that she would rather shop in Marks & Spencer than Topshop.

Primark 'must never be said aloud'

THE first rule of Primark is never talk about Primark, the bargain clothes retailer has confirmed.

Google returns no search results for 'sexism' and 'tax'

TECH giant Google has decided that sexism and tax no longer exist, it has emerged.

Banknotes to be kept delicious

THE Bank of England has vowed that £5 and £10 notes will continue to be the animal fat-packed extra-crispy flavourful savoury treats that Britain loves.

Morrisons unveils Greedy Bastard range

A NEW food line aimed at greedy bastards is now on sale at Morrisons.