Business

Woman with incredibly impressive job title actually earns £11k

A WOMAN who works as a 'brand optimising consultant' actually leads a nightmarish hand-to-mouth existence, friends have noticed.

For f**k’s sake don’t solve the housing crisis, say selfish bastards

OWNERS of hugely overvalued houses are lobbying the government to make the housing crisis even worse.

Man gives to charity without going to a f**king ball

SCIENTISTS were shocked to announce the discovery of a man who is capable of giving to charity without attending an exclusive black-tie gala event.

Carillion directors nicking loads of stuff from abandoned building sites

THE directors of Carillion are half-inching as much gear as they can from the company's abandoned projects, it has emerged.

Self-employed builder makes bid for Carillion contracts

A SELF-EMPLOYED builder who owns his own lorry has bid for Carillion’s prison, hospital, school and Ministry of Defence contracts.  

Stressed workaholic finds plenty of time to tell you about it

A MAN who is constantly 'up to his eyes' in work always has an hour free to complain about just hard he is working, it has emerged.

Only 90 per cent of Airbnb rooms have hidden cameras

AIRBNB users have been reassured by reports that only nine out of 10 AirBnB rooms have secret cameras recording their every move.

Government sets up single massive company to shaft everyone in Britain

A VAST new company will ensure every last penny of your money is turned into profit for the private sector, the government has announced.