Price Of Gas To Rise, Say Men Who Set The Price Of Gas

THE men who set the price of gas have predicted gas prices will rise by about 40%.

These things aren’t cheap, you know

The bosses of Britain’s six biggest energy companies said the only control they had over the price of gas was deciding how much they were going to charge people for using it.

Paul Golby, chief executive of E.ON, said: “Given the volatile nature of the current market and the knock-on effect of high oil prices, it’s very difficult, at this stage, to predict how much more money I’m going to want.

“As a rough, ballpark figure I would say I’m probably going to want about 40% more money.”

Sam Laidlaw, head of Centrica, told the Commons enterprise select committee: “Russia, oil, global demand, gigantic yacht. I’m sorry did I say ‘gigantic yacht’? I meant ‘shortages’.”

But Andrew Duff, chief executive of Npower, said it was impossible to pinpoint the exact cause of rising prices, adding: “It’s totally the Russians’ fault. They’re all gangsters, you know.

“I met this Russian guy last week. You should have seen the size of his house. Christ on a fucking bike! And he’s got a leopard in his garden. I want a leopard.”

Mr Laidlaw added: “You there, more champagne!”