Meghan Markle or Amal Clooney: who is the most evil?

FOR unspecified reasons, the Duchess of Sussex and human rights lawyer Amal Clooney are the most despised women in Britain. But which has the truest claim to being pure evil? 

Husband

Both Meghan and Amal are guilty of the vicious crime of trapping a happy bachelor, able to have his pick of the world’s women, in the grim prison of marriage. Neither can ever be forgiven. 

Age

Both women are older than they should be. Amal is a mere 17 years younger than her husband when he could have married an actual 17-year-old, while Meghan has the audacity to actually be older than Prince Harry. The gold-digging hussy. 

Media relations

It’s neck-and-neck again in this round as both women believe, despite marrying men vastly more famous than themselves, they have the right to a private life. Clearly they are both horrible people whose marriages are on the brink of collapse.

Career

Meghan wrongly believes herself to be famous just because she starred in six series of a popular television show watched by millions. Amal, however, actively fights for the human rights of people who do not deserve them, so is worse than Cherie Blair. 

Race

Not even an issue. Don’t know why it’s even been brought up. The fact that lots of pale, lovely English roses are still single is irrelevant. 

Conclusion

Amal put up a good fight, but nobody in the world can hold a black-flamed candle to Meghan’s diabolical monstrousness.