Celebrity
Team GB athletes caught smuggling precious metals into UK
BRITAIN’S Olympians have brought shame upon the country by attempting to smuggle rare metals from Brazil.
Women strongly opposed to Nicole Scherzinger
WOMEN are opposed to Nicole Scherzinger, it has been confirmed.
Man claims vague relationship with every Team GB medallist
WAYNE Hayes has worked with, played football against, babysat and lived next-door to each and every Great British Olympic medalist, weary colleagues have revealed.
Boris Johnson ‘may have accidentally sold Britain to Peruvian drug lord’
BRITAIN now belongs to a Peruvian drug lord after an ‘accident’ by Boris Johnson.
180,000 new Labour members thought they were getting Beyonce tickets
THE 180,000 new registered Labour supporters thought they were buying exclusive front-row access to a Beyonce gig.
Off you f**k, Queen tells Cameron
THE Queen has assured David Cameron that he was her worst prime minister ‘by miles’.
Queen reflects that it’s a good thing she doesn’t give a shit
THE Queen has reflected that, considering all the constitutional powers she has, it is a good thing she could not care less about Britain anymore.
Thank you so much for drawing attention to me, Cameron tells Murray
DAVID Cameron has thanked Andy Murray for throwing him under a bus at Wimbledon yesterday.
