Celebrity
Radio 4 listener to spend whole of Desert Island Discs pretending not to know who Beckham is
A RADIO 4 listener is to feign puzzlement about David Beckham’s identity throughout his appearance on Desert Island Discs.
It should never have been written or released, says Trump about Shane Richie's autobiography
DONALD Trump has slammed the writing and release of Shane Richie's autobiography From Rags to Richie.
I am a ponce, admits Hiddleston
ACTOR Tom Hiddleston has apologised for being a massive ponce.
I’m sick of being your f**king punchline, Michael Fish tells Britain
MICHAEL Fish is sick of being a byword for fucking up and you can all sod off, the infamous weatherman has declared.
Genuinely puzzled Keith Richards survives 2016
ROLLING Stones legend Keith Richards has expressed his genuine surprise at surviving 2016.
'You are the most expendable part of this', says voice in Richard Hammond's head
THE voice inside Richard Hammond’s head has reminded him he is easily the most expendable part of Jeremy Clarkson’s TV entourage.
Jesus had goatee phase
JESUS had a goatee for a bit but nobody was into it, it has emerged.
Queen's speech to highlight how much mad shit happened in 2016
THE theme of the Queen's Christmas message is how much mental shit has happened lately, it has been revealed.
I would take them out with darts like Rambo, says Bristow
ERIC Bristow would go on a deadly darts rampage if he was threatened by abusers, he has announced.
Queen to teach Trump a thing or two about vulgar interior design
THE QUEEN will invite Donald Trump to Buckingham Palace to show him how to do gaudy interior design properly.
Queen 'to have everyone to stay once palace has been done up'
THE Queen has promised that everyone can spend a weekend at Buckingham Palace once the renovations are done.
Can I have one girlfriend without you bastards f**king it up? asks Harry
PRINCE Harry has asked the world’s media if he could just have one relationship that is not immediately ruined by bastard journalists.