Celebrity
Queen's speech to highlight how much mad shit happened in 2016
THE theme of the Queen's Christmas message is how much mental shit has happened lately, it has been revealed.
I would take them out with darts like Rambo, says Bristow
ERIC Bristow would go on a deadly darts rampage if he was threatened by abusers, he has announced.
Queen to teach Trump a thing or two about vulgar interior design
THE QUEEN will invite Donald Trump to Buckingham Palace to show him how to do gaudy interior design properly.
Queen 'to have everyone to stay once palace has been done up'
THE Queen has promised that everyone can spend a weekend at Buckingham Palace once the renovations are done.
Can I have one girlfriend without you bastards f**king it up? asks Harry
PRINCE Harry has asked the world’s media if he could just have one relationship that is not immediately ruined by bastard journalists.
Man at dinner party may be leader of the Liberal Democrats
A SMARTLY-DRESSED man at a posh dinner party may well be Tim Farron, fellow guests have realised.
Jamie Oliver wearily wanks out yet another f**king cookbook
JAMIE Oliver has wearily dumped yet another book of recipes, photographs and shit onto the market for Christmas.
We will abolish the monarchy if we hear one kind word about immigrants, says Sun
THE SUN has confirmed that if the Queen dares breathe one compassionate word about immigrants she is fucking gone.
Assange’s weird dreams shaping reality
JULIAN Assange’s weird dreams are controlling our reality.
Cameron gets job in artisan coffee shop
DAVID Cameron has become a barista in an independent coffee shop until he gets his ‘head space’ together.
Grown man dressing like Prince George
A 34-YEAR-OLD man is wearing the same outfits as three-year-old Prince George of Cambridge, his shocked colleagues have reported.
Thing happens to Kardashians that has absolutely no relevance to your life
SOMETHING has happened to the Kardashians that does not affect you because they are strangers and you will never meet them.