Celebrity

If I see a washing machine in a kitchen I vomit all over the floor, says Kirstie Allsopp

KIRSTIE Allsopp has admitted that if she sees a washing machine in a kitchen she vomits all over the floor and will not apologise.

I love money, confirms Queen

THE best thing about being monarch is the huge amount of money you get, the Queen has confirmed.

Wealthy foreigner offer £500,000 to be insulted by Prince Philip

OVERSEAS tycoons are prepared to pay up to half a million pounds to be racially mocked by the Duke of Edinburgh, it has emerged.

Royal family’s benefits withdrawn

THE Royal family has had its benefits sanctioned after Prince Harry admitted none of them wants the top job.

Security guard has seen every Steven Seagal film

A SUPERMARKET security guard has seen every single Steven Seagal film and many twice.

What's a Piers Morgan? asks Ariana Grande

INTERNATIONALLY famous pop star Ariana Grande has asked her team to explain what a Piers Morgan is.

Wonder Woman paid 34 percent less than male superheroes

WONDER Woman receives a third less salary than fellow Justice League members Batman and Aquaman, figures have revealed.

It was an actual snake, reveals LBC

RADIO station LBC has apologised for employing an actual snake which had disguised itself as a woman.

You like this

THIS is what you like, it has been confirmed.

Britain giving an absolutely massive f**k about Pippa Middleton's wedding

EVERYONE has agreed that it is impossible not to be utterly obsessed by the wedding of Pippa Middleton, no matter how hard they try.

Pippa Middleton's wedding DJ mentally prepared for worst night of his life

THE DJ at Pippa Middleton’s wedding is ready for several hours of sheer hell, he has confirmed.

Ireland accused of blasphemy for questioning Stephen Fry

STEPHEN Fry’s omniscience has been controversially called into question by Ireland.