THE new Top Gear has an audience over 24 million if you include people walking past television shop windows, according to Chris Evans.
MOTHERS have confirmed plans to keep highlighting how various television celebrities look much older these days.
THE android known as ‘Taylor Swift’ has remembered who she was sent from the future to kill.
THE Queen’s Speech is littered with song titles from thrash metal act Slayer, it has emerged.
MARY Berry has admitted she is the ‘Becky with the good hair’ named by Beyonce.
THE Queen is extremely good at being the Queen, it has been claimed.
BEYONCE is working with Greggs on a range of pasties designed to empower women of all shapes and pasty-eating abilities.
JOHNNY Depp’s string of poor career choices has ended with a captivating short film about why it is wrong to smuggle dogs into Australia.
A POIGNANT photo at the Taj Mahal has given the Duchess of Cambridge a fresh opportunity to tell her husband’s exes to eat it.
BRITAIN and Bhutan have moved back from the brink of war after a visit by the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.
ONLY 13 percent of people who support Boris Johnson are aware that his surname is Johnson.
BONO proudly believes his claim that comedians should be sent to fight ISIS to be his most dumbshit pronouncement yet.