THE Queen is such an old cow, the Sun has confirmed.
MEN have expressed disgust at a sexy woman giving away nude photos of herself for nothing.
MORRISSEY is too friendly and upbeat to represent London, it has been claimed.
THE Duke of Cambridge is wondering why so many of you are not enjoying an Alpine skiing holiday like him.
GIVING Prince Andrew a high-profile public role has somehow failed to be a success, it has emerged.
THE Clean Up The Queen campaign is enlisting the public’s help to stop Her Majesty cursing like a drunken sailor.
DOCTORS are fighting to remove the smug half-smile from Leonardo DiCaprio’s face, it has emerged.
EVERY man, woman and child in the UK knew that Jimmy Savile was a sexual predator for 30 years, it has emerged.
JEREMY Clarkson has officially apologised to cold cuts and salads after saying they were not good enough for him.
A BRISTOL Zoo-based gorilla mother is under fire after it was claimed she made no effort to have a natural birth.
THE world’s most renowned left-wing thinker has decided to retire following Russell Brand’s latest online rant, it has been confirmed.
DERREN Brown has goat-like hooves because of doing black magic, it has emerged.