ACTOR Daniel Craig has discovered that playing James Bond is better than almost every other job.
THE Duchess of Cambridge has grown out her hair to hide the Dead Kennedys tattoo on her right temple.
THE Queen is escalating her beef with Jeremy Corbyn by recording a blistering diss track.
A VIDEO blogger is baffled by how she makes large sums of money from her trivial and amateurish YouTube videos.
THE Queen wants her jubilee celebrations kept low-key in case people realise the royal thing is a huge scam.
THE Queen is a lethal human weapon trained by Shaolin monks, it has been confirmed.
SAMANTHA Cameron has been placed at the top of Vanity Fair's Best-Dressed list by women uncomfortable in everything.
DAILY Mail columnist Richard Littlejohn is in a sadomasochistic master-slave relationship with his binmen, he has admitted.
A WOMAN unknowingly married Ant and Dec in a polygamous wedding ceremony in Newcastle.
THE Duchess of Cambridge is planning a daring escape from the Royal Family involving a faked shark attack and a mini submarine.
JEREMY Clarkson’s new Amazon contract includes an obligation to deliver 300 parcels a month.
EARTH-like planet Keplar 452b is being urgently beamed news that the feud between Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift has been settled.