Celebrity

Duchess of Sussex orders it moved to California

MEGHAN Windsor, the Duchess of Sussex, has outlined plans to move the county to just off the coast of California.

Fergie returns to Windsor Castle to pilfer leftovers

THE Duchess of York is back at the royal wedding venue stuffing canapes into a bin bag, it has been confirmed.

It's my wedding today too, and I'll spend the entire day pretending I'm not f**ked off

Thanks to the spontaneous decision of some tuppenny ha’penny TV actress and a wastrel who happens to be sixth in line to the throne, I will spend the best day of my life hiding the fact that I’m incredibly pissed off.

Meghan to embrace British culture by carrying large inflatable cock on hen night

MEGHAN Markle will show her commitment to Britain by carrying around an inflatable penis on her hen night.  

My family not nearly as f**ked up as theirs, says Meghan Markle

MEGHAN Markle has responded to media focus on her relatives by pointing out that the Windsors are way more messed up.

Rees-Mogg to be stuffed

JACOB Rees-Mogg has outlived whatever purpose he once served and will be stuffed and kept in a glass case, it has been announced.

I'm your father now, Trump tells Meghan

DONALD Trump has selflessly stepped in to replace Meghan Markle's father at her wedding this weekend. 

Look at this photo and be grateful, you scum, Britain told

BRITAIN has been ordered to look at this delightful photograph and thank the Royal Family for existing.