Celebrity

Viewing naked celebrity pictures ‘same as watching the news’

MEN have convinced themselves that looking at naked celebrity pictures is a legitimate part of keeping up with current affairs.

Pitt and Jolie finally end their sex life

ANGELINA Jolie and Brad Pitt have confirmed that their sex life is over and done by announcing their marriage.

Hello Kitty ‘the nightmarish result of an immoral genetic experiment’

HELLO Kitty is a vengeful cat-human hybrid that feeds on livers, it has been confirmed.

Music industry to help hot homeless people

THOUSANDS of physically attractive people don’t have anywhere to live, according to pop stars.

Chris Martin’s dad a bit too keen on Jennifer Lawrence

THE father of Coldplay’s Chris Martin keeps asking when he’s going to bring his new girlfriend home.

Devil Woman is real, say Cliff Richard fans

SEX abuse allegations against Sir Cliff Richard are the result of a long-standing feud with Devil Woman, it has been claimed.

Royals ‘not held to normal standards of amusingness’

THE Royal family does not have to try as hard as ordinary people to be considered funny, it has been claimed.

Nation grinds to a halt to read Will Self essay

EVERYTHING stopped this weekend while the nation read the latest thoughts to come out of Will Self's massive brain.

Colonel Kilgore ‘hurt by Clarkson snub’

A SENIOR US army officer has revealed he was hurt after Jeremy Clarkson pretended not to know him.

Desert Island Discs not hypothetical

GUESTS on Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs are actually abandoned on a remote Pacific atoll, the BBC has revealed.

Celebrities call for right to be remembered

FORMER celebrities are lobbying search engines to stop them fading into cultural oblivion.

Prince George shoots his first butterfly

PRINCE George has been introduced to the world of country sports by shooting a butterfly.