ELON Musk has confirmed plans to go off to Mars in a strop.
THE Queen is marvelling that, after 66 years on the throne, she has just met the biggest knobhead of her reign so far.
ALAN Sugar has defended an offensive tweet by saying nobody minded when he built a business empire selling racist jokes in the 1980s.
DAVID Dimbleby has confirmed that he will not be asking or answering any questions for the rest of his life.
EXTREME right-wing groups have sought to distance themselves from the increasingly unhinged former lead singer of The Smiths.
KIRSTIE Allsopp has explained that she and her husband regularly fly to the Maldives while her children go to Pontins in Prestatyn.
JAMIE Oliver plans to combat obesity by banning people from eating food.
RICHARD Dawkins will take part in the new series of Love Island, it has emerged.
MEGHAN Markle has emailed an Airbnb host to ask if they have a policy on bringing a heavily-armed security detail.
THE Duchess of Sussex is to be taught how to be an ‘effective royal’ by learning how to wave correctly.
MEGHAN Windsor, the Duchess of Sussex, has outlined plans to move the county to just off the coast of California.
THE Duchess of York is back at the royal wedding venue stuffing canapes into a bin bag, it has been confirmed.