Celebrity

I cannot go to the USA for questioning because they don't have Pizza Express, says Prince Andrew

PRINCE Andrew has confirmed that he has refused to submit to questioning by the US Department of Justice because there is no Pizza Express there.

Prince Charles' guide to working hard

THIS week the heir to the throne urged Britons to do some “hard graft” and stop our fruit and vegetable crops going to waste. Here Charles gives more examples of how to work harder.

Captain Tom to be made Prince Andrew

THE Queen is to make Captain Tom Moore Duke of York and eighth in line to the throne, replacing the former Prince Andrew.

So this next exercise is called 'overthrow capitalism', says Joe Wicks

JOE Wicks is teaching his junior army exercise moves like ‘overthrow capitalism’, ‘throw the molotov’ and ‘the guillotine’, a parent has noticed.

Colonel Tom thrilled to be the same rank as Camilla

COLONEL Tom Moore is thrilled to hold the same military rank as the Duchess of Cornwall, he has confirmed.

I miss being Britain's biggest arsehole, says Piers Morgan

PIERS Morgan is itching to get back to being the most obnoxious prick in the UK, it has emerged.

Group of celebrities get together to shut the f**k up

A GROUP of A-list celebrities have gotten together to shut the f**k up, with all the money raised going to charity.

Six conspiracy theories to explain Eamonn Holmes's shitty f**king career

EAMONN Holmes shared dangerous 5G conspiracy theories on This Morning, but what far-fetched conspiracy explains him still being in f**king work?

Queen: 'Stay in't 'ouse, you'll be reet'

THE Queen has instructed Britain to stay indoors, sup a few cans, watch telly and keep its head down until ‘all this bollocks is over’.

Kids physically fit but talking in working-class accents

CHILDREN taking daily PE lessons with Joe Wicks are physically healthy but at least 30 per cent more common, parents have reported.

Six people it's a blessing not to have heard from in the current crisis

AS CORONAVIRUS has shown, things can always get worse. For example, if any of these six spoke up.

Queen to be put back on fixing trucks

THE QUEEN is to return to work as a truck mechanic as she did during the war, Buckingham Palace has confirmed.