Celebrity

Delighted Philip tells public to ‘f**k off out of it’ one last time

PRINCE Philip has completed his last public engagement, locked the gates of Buckingham Palace and told crowds to ‘fuck off out of it’ for the last time.

Prince George intends to become king 'as quickly as possible'

PRINCE George has declared his intention to become king as soon as possible and by any means necessary.

OJ Simpson to run for president

OJ SIMPSON, released from prison yesterday, has announced his intention to run for President of the United States.

Queen poleaxes disgraceful Canadian with elbow to the chin

THE Queen has responded to a breach of etiquette by Canada’s Governor General by smashing her elbow into his chin.

If I see a washing machine in a kitchen I vomit all over the floor, says Kirstie Allsopp

KIRSTIE Allsopp has admitted that if she sees a washing machine in a kitchen she vomits all over the floor and will not apologise.

I love money, confirms Queen

THE best thing about being monarch is the huge amount of money you get, the Queen has confirmed.

Wealthy foreigner offer £500,000 to be insulted by Prince Philip

OVERSEAS tycoons are prepared to pay up to half a million pounds to be racially mocked by the Duke of Edinburgh, it has emerged.

Royal family’s benefits withdrawn

THE Royal family has had its benefits sanctioned after Prince Harry admitted none of them wants the top job.

Security guard has seen every Steven Seagal film

A SUPERMARKET security guard has seen every single Steven Seagal film and many twice.

What's a Piers Morgan? asks Ariana Grande

INTERNATIONALLY famous pop star Ariana Grande has asked her team to explain what a Piers Morgan is.

Wonder Woman paid 34 percent less than male superheroes

WONDER Woman receives a third less salary than fellow Justice League members Batman and Aquaman, figures have revealed.

It was an actual snake, reveals LBC

RADIO station LBC has apologised for employing an actual snake which had disguised itself as a woman.