Celebrity

Queen 'may be 93-year-old who doesn't give a sh*t', say insiders
BUCKINGHAM Palace insiders have warned that the Prince Andrew crisis may be handled as if by a 93-year-old who no longer gives a bugger.

'This is all we f*cking need' confirm Pizza Express and Woking
TROUBLED restaurant chain Pizza Express and dreary town Woking have confirmed Prince Andrew's admission of visiting them is all they f*cking need.

'Harry farted in the Range Rover', and other reasons behind the royal rift
BRITAIN’S future king and his brother are squabbling, with Prince Harry admitting they are on ‘different paths’. But how did blue blood become bad blood?

Five childhood heroes who b*llocksed it up
THIS week Gazza was in court after another bizarre incident in his perpetually troubled life. But which other celebrities have ruined your childhood memories of them?

Exhausted Danny Dyer gives whole Cockney thing a rest
EASTENDERS star Danny Dyer has let his guard down and dropped the whole Cockney pretence at a dinner party with friends.

Press takes Rebekah Vardy's side, proving she's innocent
THE media have firmly taken the side of Rebekah Vardy in her dispute with Coleen Rooney, proving she is not working with the media.

Five mysteries Coleen Rooney could solve the f**k out of
LEADING WAG detective Coleen Rooney has already unmasked Rebekah Vardy as pure evil, but what other historical mysteries could she solve?

Labour to abolish all posh people except Phoebe Waller-Bridge
THE Labour conference has voted that all posh people will be made into commoners with the exception of Phoebe Waller-Bridge.

Strictly to ditch the dancing and focus on the homewrecking
THE new series of Strictly Come Dancing will cut the ballroom dancing and concentrate on the contestants’ journey from happily married to adultery.

Kate and William seen boarding Megabus
THE Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have dealt another PR blow to rivals Harry and Meghan by being pictured taking their family to Aberdeen by Megabus.

Kevin McCloud over-budget, living in caravan and pregnant
KEVIN McCloud’s eco-friendly housing project is massively over-budget while the presenter is living on-site in a caravan and eight months pregnant, it has emerged.

Johnson sells Britain to Peruvian drug lord
BRITAIN belongs to a Peruvian drug lord after an ‘accident’ by Boris Johnson.