THE DJ at Pippa Middleton’s wedding is ready for several hours of sheer hell, he has confirmed.
STEPHEN Fry’s omniscience has been controversially called into question by Ireland.
THE Prince of Wales has accepted that it is now his duty, following his father’s retirement from public life, to say those things to those people.
BRITAIN has been accused of staring adoringly at a new photograph of Princess Charlotte for less than the mandatory four minutes.
THE Archbishop of Canterbury is to exorcise the unquiet spirit of Tony Blair that is haunting the election, he has announced.
A 48-YEAR-OLD man is confident he can emulate the success of Kim Kardashian by showing people his buttocks, he has revealed.
A MAN chased down and beaten by Tom Hardy luckily turned out to be some sort of thief, the actor has amazedly admitted.
GORDON Ramsay has asked when he will be allowed to drop his 'tough guy wanker' persona, it has emerged.
THE Dalai Lama has claimed that he is not bothered about getting 50,000 ‘Likes' for his last Facebook post.
PIERS Morgan plans to use his 'skills as a journalist' to discover the truth about a controversial school he claims was founded by JK Rowling.
DAVID Beckham's hacked emails have revealed that he is far less of a prick than most footballers.
NEWS outlets are unable to find a picture of Donald Trump where he doesn't look like an absolute maniac, it has been confirmed.