JAMIE Oliver has wearily dumped yet another book of recipes, photographs and shit onto the market for Christmas.
THE SUN has confirmed that if the Queen dares breathe one compassionate word about immigrants she is fucking gone.
JULIAN Assange’s weird dreams are controlling our reality.
DAVID Cameron has become a barista in an independent coffee shop until he gets his ‘head space’ together.
A 34-YEAR-OLD man is wearing the same outfits as three-year-old Prince George of Cambridge, his shocked colleagues have reported.
SOMETHING has happened to the Kardashians that does not affect you because they are strangers and you will never meet them.
WILLIAM Hague is keen to be implicated in the break-up of Angelina Jolie’s marriage.
PIPPA Middleton has confirmed plans to destroy the aristocracy from within.
COMPULSORY military service has been brought back for young people who have a large following on YouTube.
DAVID Cameron is planning to go to the pub tonight with Jamie Oliver and that cheese twat from Blur, Britons have been warned.
PERKY posterior beach body confidence ample cleavage, it has emerged.
THE -gate suffix, used for political scandals since 1972’s Watergate, has admitted that yesterday’s Traingate is a new low.