DO you want a ‘personal brand’ like the Kardashians or various twats on YouTube? Here’s how to engage in endless tedious self-promotion instead of doing something worthwhile.
PRINCE Harry has warned young people that social media is more addictive than illegal drugs without anything close to the same payoff.
TROUBLED fashion chain LK Bennett is to be saved by being taken into public ownership because the Duchess of Cambridge likes it.
WOULD you like to be paid a fortune just for being an appalling twat all the time? Here Piers Morgan gives his priceless advice.
THE Queen is believed to be outraged at Meghan’s £300,000 baby shower, from beneath her jewelled crown in one of her many palaces.
THE Duchess of Sussex is under fire after enjoying a night out with Serena Williams, Jessica Mulroney, and ISIS bride Shamima Begum.
A RETIRED father has confirmed that he is still not entirely clear on whether David Bowie liked girls or not.
ARE you a top Hollywood actor who has a baffling urge to do incredibly stupid things? Here’s how to stay likeable and employed.
PRINCE Philip is making the royal family incredibly tense due to still not realising his granddaughter-in-law is a person of colour.
HENRY Hoover is a proud Remainer who will fight for a second vote for the people of Britain, manufacturers have confirmed.
PRINCE Philip has been trying to get his wife take the points for him, it has emerged.
A 97-YEAR-OLD who can do whatever he fucking feels like has confirmed his intention to do exactly that.