THE Duchess of Cambridge has wasted no time in getting a drink down her neck after nine months of being sober.
EVERYONE in Britain would be happy if David Attenborough and the Queen eventually became a couple, it has been confirmed.
THE Queen earns 40 per cent less than Prince Philip despite being the British monarchy’s major draw, it has emerged.
STEPHEN Hawking’s life has reminded everyone that the universe is actually pretty interesting.
THE blood of more than 400,000 lizards has cascaded over Meghan Markle on the altar of an underground church to make her Royal forever.
PRINCE Harry and Meghan Markle are to follow their May 19th wedding with a big shop at the Windsor branch of Waitrose.
CAN an American actress ever match the Duchess of Cambridge’s world-leading skill at speaking briefly to members of the public standing behind a barrier?
ONE of Fergie’s kids, the one with the slightly vacant expression, is to marry a spiv, apparently.
6AM: Meet in car park of Morrison’s, Cromwell Road to catch minibus. Sambuca shots.
PRINCE HARRY has warned his fiancée that Christmas will be unusual.
THE royal wedding has been cancelled after Meghan Markle discovered Harry is not actually Ed Sheeran.
PRINCE Harry and fianceé Meghan Markle’s first royal engagement has ended early after he accidentally killed a member of the cheering crowd.
- I'm marrying into that reality TV family I told you about, Meghan Markle tells mother
- Thank you for distracting everyone from my shit-show of a government, May tells Meghan
- Harry asks Meghan if she'd like to be the subject of future documentaries about what really happened to her
- Stars of Mrs Brown’s Boys hoarding as much money as possible before their audience sobers up