Church Accepts Gay Adoption As Long As They’re Not Flaming

LEADERS of the Roman Catholic and Anglican churches have agreed an historic deal with the government over adoption by gay couples .

Prisoner: Cell Block H - ghastly

Under the compromise church adoption agencies would accept same-sex partners as long as they seem normal and, in the words of one bishop, "aren't mincing around like a couple of chorus tarts from 42nd Street". 

Cardinal Cormac Murphy O'Connor said: "God, in his infinite grace, has delivered a solution whereby adoption rights would be granted to those homosexual couples who do not flounce around like nancy-boys but instead give the outward appearance of normal, well-balanced men who enjoy Top Gear.

"Put it this way: For those of you familiar with the US sitcom Will & Grace, we would accept a couple like Will and Vince, his policeman boyfriend, but not Jack and one of his Puerto Rican boy-toys.

"The issue of female gayness has proved more difficult but ultimately we have decided to accept those who resemble the pert, fragrant, lipstick lesbians of The L-Word or Tipping the Velvet and not those awful, chunky, crew-cut dykes that were 10-a-penny in Prisoner: Cell Block H."