Environment

HUMANS are to continue to base their civilisation on a highly toxic substance destroying the climate that is largely controlled by lunatics.

BRITAIN’S water companies have spilled record amounts of raw sewage into our rivers and seas, proving the doubters wrong. How are you thanking them?

FOR 57 whole hours an entire junction of the M25 has closed. Why must London always be the one that suffers?

AN area of idyllic urban parkland has bloomed with spring’s first latex sign of illicit outdoor sex, it has emerged.

WHERE the f**k is Rutland? And who has ever heard of Denbighshire? You’ve never been to these places, so they must be made up.

MEN have pointed out that the six inches of snow due to fall on the country is much, much more than the national average.

EVERY photograph of a sunset, whether taken by a professional photographer in the Maldives or on an iPhone 6S in Llandudno, looks exactly the same.

STORM Jocelyn is failing to engage audiences after retreading scenes and plot points from its immediate predecessor.

THERE are few sights more majestic to behold than the humble trampoline swooping and soaring high overhead, Britain has agreed.