A 45-YEAR-OLD man has turned on his fog lights in the manner of a spy firing an under-bonnet machine gun.
A CAT has refused to eat a slightly cheaper brand of catfood, despite having recently eaten a rat.
A BRAVE dog has prevented its owner from talking to a possible romantic partner.
THE volume of drawings created by children will bury Britain by 2020 unless urgent action is taken, environmentalists have warned.
A DADDY long legs trapped in a bath has admitted the situation is far from ideal.
MOST Audi cars have a knobhead fitted in the driver’s seat, it has emerged.
A TERRIER humping a stranger’s shin has described how his mind is telling him no but his body’s telling him yes.
A CAT owner is convinced that her pet is unique.
ELEVEN million VW drivers have been recalled to the factory to be fitted with scepticism about man-made global warming.
THE end of sunny weather has liberated millions of Britons from having to pretend they are in a good mood.
A WEATHER forecaster has admitted he is just wasting his time right now.
THE koala that chased a female quad biker believes it is possible to be simultaneously adorable and sexually aroused.