THE SNP is to provide all grouse with sidearms and training before the start of shooting season.
HUMANS will continue posting upbeat sayings on social media until the very last person dies, it has emerged.
EXTREMELY high pollen readings across the UK today will correspond with pollen being sworn at and blamed for everything.
HEDGEHOGS in London have survived by emulating the rude, pushy behaviour of their human counterparts.
BRITAIN’S coastal waters are being invaded by sea-dwelling creatures.
KENT residents have said they may never trust the earth again after being hit by a 4.2 magnitude earthquake.
HOUSEHOLDERS have been warned against feeding urban foxes as the animals are fussy and claim to have intolerances.
FIVE 'Nessie hunters' have been killed and eaten after a thrilling encounter with a giant aquatic lizard.
MILLIONS of people are spending time outside where they have pretended not to be slightly cold.
CAT are incredibly keen on high temperatures despite having thick pelts, it has emerged.
A RAIN of sand from the Sahara has finally made London the desert that it always was in spirit, it has been confirmed.
A LONDON fire has been hailed as a hero after thousands got the afternoon off work and Mamma Mia! was cancelled.