THE natural world is going to hell, but it can’t be your fault because you read the Guardian. Here are seven ways to blame everyone else.
TEENAGE climate activist Greta Thunberg is in deep shit after a teacher spotted her on television when she should have been in third-period maths.
THE government has admitted that otherwise inexplicable ‘forest school’ sessions in primary schools are preparation for hard Brexit.
VEGETABLE gardeners are pleading with Britain to please, for the love of sweet Jesus Christ on a bike, take some of these courgettes.
A BAG for life is largely being used to hold all the other bags that do not get taken to the supermarket, its owner has confirmed.
A MAN who has insisted on wearing shorts for every day of his UK holiday is refusing to concede that he is cold.
A MAN refuses to waste his time thinking about Brexit because intelligent people like him are more concerned with saving the planet.
THE BBC is always at pains to present both sides of an argument. Here news editor Nathan Muir discusses the ongoing ‘round or flat Earth’ debate.
BEING too hot in London is trendier and more cultural than in the regions. Here new media developer Nathan Muir explains what you should do.
DO you want to use less plastic while making sure everyone knows what a thoughtful, eco-conscious and incredibly smug person you are? Here’s how.
CLIMATE activists trying to paralyse cities by blocking roads and causing traffic jams could learn a lot from Ocado delivery drivers, it has emerged.
THE heatwave set to hit the UK this weekend will see the country’s bins reeking even worse than bins in Ibiza, weathermen have announced.