A CAT has confirmed that it will do its utmost to shit exactly where you plan to tread in your front and back garden.
FOXES in your area have announced that one of the longest and loudest all-night orgies on record will begin the moment you try to get to sleep.
GRETA Thunberg has returned to school to find neither her teacher or any of her classmates noticed she was gone.
THE unusually hot weather is providing your parents with many exciting new ways to pester you. Here is some of their worst nonsense.
HAS your lovely holiday weather been brought to an end by a huge storm? Here’s eight things to do until it’s over.
EXPERTS have warned Britain to prepare for intense periods of mindless chatter about the weather when the heatwave breaks.
A STATIC caravan on the Isle of Wight has become a roasting tin capable of cooking a family of four in one hour 40 minutes, they have confirmed.
YOU had a fortnight in Italy booked. You’re spending a week on a campsite in Filey. Here’s how your 2020 plans and reality compare.
ABANDONED and unwanted sourdough starters are attacking sheep on remote moorland, farmers have warned.
AFTER the angry reaction to litter in our nation’s parks and on its beaches, you might be looking for new ways to ruin Britain’s beauty spots. Here are some suggestions.
ENVIRONMENTAL campaigner Greta Thunberg is to spend summer touring Europe in an ice cream van ladling warm cream into your cupped hands for £7.
A HEATWAVE in Britain guarantees inane conversations about the weather. Here are some things to say to help you join in.