CONSTABLES called to a nocturnal disturbance in Windermere found a group of men cheering two battling plesiosaurs, it has emerged.
THE government has abandoned plans to force trees off benefits and into work.
THE M25 is a huge waste of money that goes round in a loop and just ends up back where it started, according to a devastating new report.
PRIMATES from the northern half of rainforests are more likely to be dishonest than their southerly counterparts, scientists have claimed.
RECORD numbers of UK households are ditching the family car for a medium-sized goat.
THE UK's biggest fox could probably have beaten a very large badger in an amazing fight, experts have claimed.
CUMBRIANS have imposed a moratorium on sex with close relatives amid fears they may have angered a supernatural being who lives deep in the ground.
INSECTS and animals are increasingly exhibiting fame-hungry behaviour, according to experts.
HUNDREDS of Scottish drivers, trapped by heavy snow, today face the prospect of deep frying the meatiest ones to stay alive.
ENERGY for next year's Glastonbury festival will be provided by a troupe of electromagnetic circus performers.