Saturday, 15th August 2020

Couple who don't want to send their kids to school off to the beach this weekend

A COUPLE angry they will be fined if they do not send their kids to school are looking forward to a visit to a busy beach.

Martin and Charlotte Bishop say they are disgusted by plans to force their children back into classrooms, but are perfectly happy for them to sit uncomfortably close to strangers whilst wearing swimsuits.

Charlotte Bishop said: “It’s barbaric to ask me to send my precious darlings to sit in a crowded place where social distancing rules won’t be adhered to and they could be coughed on.

“I’m not going to put them in danger, unless it benefits me in some way, like needing to top up my tan because our fortnight in Bali this summer has been cruelly stolen from me by coronavirus.

“If I’m perfectly honest, it’ll be a relief for them to bugger off come September, but I’m in a very competitive school mum’s group on Whatsapp so I have to pretend I give a shit.”