Nutritionist actually paid money for this bollocks

A NUTRITIONIST who dispenses eating advice that is either extremely obvious or hippy twaddle earns a surprisingly good living from it, it has emerged.

Medically and scientifically unqualified Francesca Johnson charges people £45 an hour to tell them stuff about food they could find out for free by looking at the internet or just using common sense.

Johnson said: “Everyone knows you’ll be healthier if you avoid eating eight Cadbury’s Crème Eggs every day and have some broccoli instead, yet people love paying to hear me say it out loud.

“If they want more in-depth advice I’ll say some stuff about detoxing with green tea or taking a nettle and kelp supplement. They’re not proven to do anything, except appeal to New Agey middle-class people who love anything ‘natural’.

“In fact, the more expensive and nasty something is, the more people believe it’s good for them, like my low-calorie, decaffeinated ‘tea’.

“It’s actually just the trimmings off my hedge rinsed under the tap. You don’t get much more ‘organic’ than that.

“Maybe I’m being negligent but if people are stupid enough to need to be told a balanced diet is good for you I’m happy to take their money. At least it stops them spending it on burgers.”