Health

Dentist making you feel like a lying bastard again

A DENTIST regularly makes patients feel as if they are lying, untrustworthy scumbags when they go in for a check-up.

The top seven places to throw up

YOUR gorge is rising, you’re about to hurl – but where do you head? Check out our select seven superior spots to lose that mess.

Nutritionist actually paid money for this bollocks

A NUTRITIONIST who dispenses eating advice that is either extremely obvious or hippy twaddle earns a surprisingly good living from it, it has emerged.

Mum using ball pit to inoculate child against all known diseases

A WOMAN decided to make her child play in a ball pit because it was the best place for her to catch a little bit of every disease in the world.

Hospital parking charges now main cause of death

THE leading causes of death in the UK are paying for hospital parking spaces and paying fines for hospital parking spaces.

Couple locked in fierce competition to be the most knackered

A COUPLE will stop at nothing to prove to each other that they have had the more exhausting day.

Man refusing to work out in case he becomes too sexy

A MAN is refusing to exercise because it might increase his sexual magnetism to a level that is hazardous for others.

Woman now fully qualified in first aid and making people feel inadequate

A WOMAN who has completed a first aid course is now able to make other people feel pathetic for being useless in an emergency.

26-year-old believes 'millennial burnout' is a real thing

A MILLENNIAL genuinely believes her generation suffers unique pressures causing them to burn out at an early age, she has revealed.

Fitness tracker just a stupidly expensive albatross around man's wrist

A MAN'S fitness-tracking wristwatch has become the absolute bane of his life, he has admitted.

How to exercise when you f**king hate exercise

EXERCISE is hell, but a growing body of medical opinion links not exercising with getting so fat you die.

45-year-old man has been going through midlife crisis for 20 years

A 45-YEAR-OLD has confirmed that he has been going through his midlife crisis since around 1999.