Health

Man who thought he had World Cup fever actually has malaria

A MAN who diagnosed himself as having 'World Cup fever' has actually got malaria, his doctors have confirmed.

Woman doing pelvic floor exercises in meeting confident no-one can tell

A WOMAN quietly doing her pelvic floor exercises in a business meeting is pretty sure nobody has noticed.

Five perfect picnic spots to trigger the f**k out of your hay fever

SUMMER’S here and what better way to make the most of the glorious outdoors than by  sneezing uncontrollably while you eat overpriced brie out of a bag?

Tosspots get their frisbees out

THE time has come to throw a plastic disc around, Britain's tosspots have confirmed.

McDonald's workers stunned as someone orders Filet-O-Fish

WORKERS at a McDonald's have been plunged into chaos after somebody ordered a Filet-O-Fish.

Millennials will never know the simple pleasure of a pack of ten fags

THE millennial generation will never know the simple, honest joy of purchasing a ten-pack of cigarettes, a study has found.

Exercise 'knackering'

A MAN who thought exercise was meant to give you stamina and energy has complained that it just made him knackered.

Highway Maintenance van loves shitting up other motorists

A HIGHWAY Maintenance driver has admitted that making BMWs panic when they mistake him for the police is the best part of his job.