Health
Man who thought he had World Cup fever actually has malaria
A MAN who diagnosed himself as having 'World Cup fever' has actually got malaria, his doctors have confirmed.
Woman doing pelvic floor exercises in meeting confident no-one can tell
A WOMAN quietly doing her pelvic floor exercises in a business meeting is pretty sure nobody has noticed.
Five perfect picnic spots to trigger the f**k out of your hay fever
SUMMER’S here and what better way to make the most of the glorious outdoors than by sneezing uncontrollably while you eat overpriced brie out of a bag?
Tosspots get their frisbees out
THE time has come to throw a plastic disc around, Britain's tosspots have confirmed.
McDonald's workers stunned as someone orders Filet-O-Fish
WORKERS at a McDonald's have been plunged into chaos after somebody ordered a Filet-O-Fish.
Millennials will never know the simple pleasure of a pack of ten fags
THE millennial generation will never know the simple, honest joy of purchasing a ten-pack of cigarettes, a study has found.
Exercise 'knackering'
A MAN who thought exercise was meant to give you stamina and energy has complained that it just made him knackered.
Highway Maintenance van loves shitting up other motorists
A HIGHWAY Maintenance driver has admitted that making BMWs panic when they mistake him for the police is the best part of his job.
- Scottish drinkers can now only buy Frosty Jack's with Bitcoin
- 90% of woman's workout is taking gym selfies
- 5k run adds 30 minutes to your life but takes 40 minutes
- Cunning swimmer outwits thieves by concealing wallet and phone in shoes
- Couple experience MDMA-type high after friends cancel at last minute
