Health

Dentistry is expensive because mouths are gross, dentists confirm

DENTISTS have confirmed that they charge huge amounts as compensation for having to spend their working lives staring into your disgusting mouths.

Woman refusing to concede that husband has cold

A WOMAN is refusing to accept that her husband has caught a cold in case he expects special treatment.

Google search confirms man has bubonic plague

A MAN with a slight cough has Googled his symptoms and convinced himself he is suffering from bubonic plague.

Are you an anti-vaxxer or are you just on meth?

ANTI-vaxxing, the belief that vaccinations are dangerous, is an extreme but increasingly popular position. Methamphetamine is an extremely dangerous drug increasing in popularity. Which are you on?

Britain demands obesity study that says it's fine

BRITAIN has admitted it is sick of studies linking obesity with poor health and would like one with a more positive outlook.

Woman who doesn't carry a bottle of water everywhere still alive

A WOMAN who left the house without taking any water provisions has survived her journey in perfect health.

Man pretending to enjoy cigar

A MAN is doing his level best to convince onlookers he is enjoying smoking a cigar.

Dentist making you feel like a lying bastard again

A DENTIST regularly makes patients feel as if they are lying, untrustworthy scumbags when they go in for a check-up.

The top seven places to throw up

YOUR gorge is rising, you’re about to hurl – but where do you head? Check out our select seven superior spots to lose that mess.

Nutritionist actually paid money for this bollocks

A NUTRITIONIST who dispenses eating advice that is either extremely obvious or hippy twaddle earns a surprisingly good living from it, it has emerged.

Mum using ball pit to inoculate child against all known diseases

A WOMAN decided to make her child play in a ball pit because it was the best place for her to catch a little bit of every disease in the world.

Hospital parking charges now main cause of death

THE leading causes of death in the UK are paying for hospital parking spaces and paying fines for hospital parking spaces.