Health
Colleague going around sneezing and touching things
AN office worker is going around sneezing and then blatantly touching things, co-workers have confirmed.
Woman mostly got pregnant for nine-month detox
A WOMAN has admitted that the main reason she is having a baby is to quit the booze for nine months.
Woman conducts annual ritual of signing up for half-marathon she won't actually do
FOR the third year in a row a woman has paid the entry fee for a half-marathon she will not actually run.
Man going for run at lunchtime like a f**king Marine or something
A MAN is heading off on lunchtime runs as if he is training to join the Royal Marine Commandos even though he works in an office.
Fruit not a snack, say kids
CHILDREN tired of being told to have an apple whenever they are hungry are calling for fruit to no longer be classified as a snack.
Man joins gym to shed personality
A MAN has joined the gym with the aim of shedding as much of his personality as possible.
The Rees-Mogg guide to making your own medicine
ON THURSDAY June 26th 2016 the UK voted, quite rightly, against keeping supply lines open for life-saving medicines, so it’s time to start making your own. Try these...
Woman personally offended that she still gets spots in her 30s
A WOMAN has confirmed that she considers it a personal attack that she still occasionally has spots despite being 34.
Loud sneezers told to get a f*cking grip
LETTING rip with the deafening roar of a shotgun blast impresses absolutely no-one, loud sneezers have been informed.
Woman surprised not to be congratulated on weight gain
A WOMAN who liked all her friends’ weight loss posts on Facebook cannot understand why they have said nothing about her putting on 18 pounds.
Years of therapy unravelled in three-minute conversation with nephew
A WOMAN’S years of positive therapeutic work have been completely undone in one short conversation with her four-year-old nephew.
Kid perfectly fit and well all day has 6,000 ailments at bedtime
A GIRL who felt perfectly well all day long has suddenly developed 6,000 mystery illnesses at bedtime.