THE coronavirus will soon reduce humanity to a tattered handful of survivors. But how will you waste your final days?
THE coronavirus is on the other side of the world and experts are confident it will not affect you. So how are you losing your sh*t about it?
A 40-YEAR-OLD man has not realised his metabolism has aged at the same rate as the rest of his increasingly flabby body.
A 34-YEAR-OLD woman believes she can reverse the damage inflicted by years of fags and booze with a rejuvenating face mask.
YOUR partner’s dieting and you’re trying to be supportive but you’re bloody starving. Here’s how to stuff yourself without getting caught.
DO you treat your body like a beautiful temple or stuff it full of questionable meat and grease? See where you fall on the scale.
THE government has announced it is scrapping waiting time targets for A&E and will instead consider it a success if some patients survive.
A WOMAN who hates her job has realised that it does at least stop her eating all the time she is awake.
BRITAIN would like to know if being fast asleep counts as time off the drink.
A MAN who has just started jogging is doing absolutely everything wrong.
A TOTAL hero still cycles to work even when it is cold and raining, he has confirmed.
BRITAIN is watching the National Health Service being replaced by signs promising that an exciting new health provider is coming soon.