Health

Total Darkness Link To Blinding Headaches

WANDERING around your house in total darkness is the single biggest cause of serious headaches, a new study has revealed.

Britain Signs Up For Vorderman's 28-Day Piss-Drink Detox

AS millions of Britons begin their New Year detox, a record number of health conscious consumers are signing up for a month-long regime of drinking their own urine.

Britain To Ignore Binge-Drink Warning For 4000th Year In A Row

THE dramatic increase in the number of people being hospitalised for excessive drinking is set to be ignored for the 4000th year in a row.

Working Mums Prefer White Wine To Childcare, Says Study

MOTHERS who work are happier than those who stay at home because they can have liquid lunches and don't have to spend time with their kids, according to a new report.

Bra Research Must Go On, Vows Scientist

THE RESEARCHER developing an intelligent bra says there is ‘no way’ it is finished and that he may have to carry on studying women’s breasts for decades. 

Britain Urged To Use A F*cking Hanky

AS cold and flu season takes hold across the nation millions of sufferers have been told to use a hanky or just fuck right off.

Mitsubishi In Global Arse Recall

MILLIONS of arses manufactured by the industrial giant Mitsubishi are being recalled after a series of catastrophic bottom failures, it emerged last night.

Flapping Your Gums All Day Is Not Exercise, Women Told

EXERCISE rates among women have plummeted after doctors said talking and talking and talking all bloody day no longer counts.