Health

Brain Cleaning 'Next Big Thing' For Busy Profesionals

BUSY professionals can now get their brains cleaned at their desks under a new mind-valet service launched yesterday by Rentokil.

Chocolate 'Stops Lazy People From Lying'

A LARGE bar of milk chocolate stops lazy people from telling lies about how exhasuted they are, new research suggests. 

Giving Birth 'A Doddle' Says Government

CHILDBIRTH is to be made longer and more painful amid fresh claims it has been 'dumbed-down' to meet Government targets.

Personal Superbugs For All, Pledges Johnson

EVERY NHS patient will be allocated a hospital acquired infection with their name on it, under government plans for a personal health service. 

Millions Suffer From Carol Vorderman Intolerance

MILLIONS of people in the UK have a genuine intolerance for Carol Vorderman, new research suggests.

Opal Fruits Count Towards Five-A-Day, Confirm Experts

DIETARY experts have moved to end confusion over healthy eating by confirming that a packet of Opal Fruits does count towards the five-a-day target.

Livingtv Fans 'Already Dead' Say Docs

THE definition of the moment of death is to be redrawn to include anyone watching the cable television channel LivingTV, doctors announced last night. 

Fat People Squashing NHS Equipment

THE NHS is in imminent danger of collapse because skilled staff and vital equipment are being squashed flat by obese people, a new report warns.