Health

Women demand equal flu to men

WOMEN should have the right to over exaggerate minor colds and be mocked for it just the same as men, campaigners have claimed.

Mummy drinking whole bottle of grown-up Ribena before teatime

MUMMIES are very thirsty for their special Ribena in the afternoon, children have confirmed.

Awful man likes to keep in shape 'for sex'

A COMPLETELY awful man likes to tell people that his frequent visits to the gym make him better at sex.  

Co-workers could stop coughing if they really wanted to

CO-WORKERS have been told they do not have to cough as much as they are coughing and that they are probably doing it for attention.

Jeremy Hunt’s guide to surviving the NHS

GOING to hospital? That’s your right as a British citizen, until further notice, but before you step past the smokers at the doors you should know what the risks are.

I too have had never-ending bastard of a cold all Christmas, confirms everyone

DELIGHTED colleagues have confirmed that every single one of them has had the horrendous cold that never stops over the whole of Christmas.

Parents urged to stop wasting nice food on crap children

PARENTS have been urged to stop wasting healthy, home-cooked food on their dreadful children.

Man takes second sick day 'for authenticity'

AN OFFICE worker has called in sick for the second day on the trot so that no one will ever know he didn't have what he’s calling ‘a nasty bug’.

'Free spirit' has 48 very specific dietary requirements

A WOMAN who is really happy to ‘go with the flow’ also won’t eat anything without first thoroughly inspecting the ingredients list.

Health experts confirm smug coffee drinking bastards were right

EVANGELISTS for the wonders of coffee have become even more intolerable after scientists confirmed it is good for your health.

Busy mum taking her wine intravenously

A MOTHER has streamlined her wine consumption by feeding it directly into her bloodstream.

Everything in man's shopping basket has cheese on it or will have cheese added to it

A MAN has noticed that everything in his shopping basket is cheese, has cheese on it or will have cheese somehow added to it.