Health

Are you drinking enough water? No, but take our test anyway

ARE you drinking enough water? Of course not. Doctors or fitness experts or whatever recommend you drink at least 18 litres of water a day. But why not take our test to confirm it?

Everybody quietly taking up smoking again

THE world's ex-smokers have all quietly taken up the habit again because why not, researchers has found.

Man who thought he had World Cup fever actually has malaria

A MAN who diagnosed himself as having 'World Cup fever' has actually got malaria, his doctors have confirmed.

Woman doing pelvic floor exercises in meeting confident no-one can tell

A WOMAN quietly doing her pelvic floor exercises in a business meeting is pretty sure nobody has noticed.

Five perfect picnic spots to trigger the f**k out of your hay fever

SUMMER’S here and what better way to make the most of the glorious outdoors than by  sneezing uncontrollably while you eat overpriced brie out of a bag?

Tosspots get their frisbees out

THE time has come to throw a plastic disc around, Britain's tosspots have confirmed.

McDonald's workers stunned as someone orders Filet-O-Fish

WORKERS at a McDonald's have been plunged into chaos after somebody ordered a Filet-O-Fish.

Millennials will never know the simple pleasure of a pack of ten fags

THE millennial generation will never know the simple, honest joy of purchasing a ten-pack of cigarettes, a study has found.

Exercise 'knackering'

A MAN who thought exercise was meant to give you stamina and energy has complained that it just made him knackered.

Highway Maintenance van loves shitting up other motorists

A HIGHWAY Maintenance driver has admitted that making BMWs panic when they mistake him for the police is the best part of his job.

Scottish drinkers can now only buy Frosty Jack's with Bitcoin

IF YOU want to buy a bottle of Frosty Jack’s cider in Scotland you can now only pay for it with Bitcoin, it has been confirmed.

90% of woman's workout is taking gym selfies

THE majority of a woman’s workout is lifting her iPhone in order to take pictures of herself working out.