A GENTLE, democracy-loving elderly man with no links to dictatorship or oppression is to be the next president of Zimbabwe.
A RUSSIAN professional troll is finding it hard to be more bigoted than British online commenters who do it for free, he has revealed.
THERE have been reports of a giant lizard with destructive tendencies wreaking havoc in Tokyo.
A REPORT revealing the use of tax havens by rich people has also shed light on the woodland toilet habits of bears.
ISIS members are baffled as to why their brand of medieval religious oppression and global terrorism did not succeed, they have revealed.
A US Secret Service agent on his final day working at the White House has deleted Donald Trump before leaving.
RUSSIA has defended its interference in Western elections by saying it did not think we would actually be moronic enough for it to work.
FILES on the President Kennedy assassination opened to the public for the first time today have revealed that he is alive and well in Kentucky.
THE prime minister has emailed 100,000 EU citizens in the UK telling them they can remain in our country if they pitch in with chores.
TRADE secretary Liam Fox has negotiated a superb trade deal with the previously unknown country of Mungotania, he has claimed.
EU CHIEF Jean-Claude Juncker has highlighted that Theresa May is flying to Brussels to rescue Brexit talks, not the other way around.
THE EU is ready to move on to the second of the excrement-based sandwiches it has prepared for the UK, it has emerged.