International

Brits abroad don’t need to point at menus because they’re having chips

WAITERS across Europe have agreed that there is no need for holidaying Britons to dumbly point at menus because they are always having chips.

The Mash guide to the lying bastards in the Trump administration

THEY’RE lying, they’re bad at it and one in three of them will serve prison time. But who are the people spinning the Trump administration’s web of fiction?

Right-wing populist revolutions f**king useless

THE defeat of healthcare repeal in the US and the UK’s pathetic Brexit negotiations, has convinced experts that right-wing populist revolutions are f**king useless.

A guide to American 'food' imports

IF Britain strikes a new trade deal with the US, what low-quality food will be on your menu?  

Boris Johnson sent as far away as possible for as long as possible

BORIS Johnson has been posted to New Zealand for as long as anyone can justify him being there.

People on low carb diets terrified of post-Brexit courgetti shortage

THE government has been urged to secure post-Brexit supplies of courgetti by people who think it is in any way a substitute for pasta.

Trump-Putin handshake summons Beelzebub as predicted

THE handshake between Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin has summoned the Devil, as experts predicted.

90 per cent of holiday photos to be ruined by some fat-headed bastard

NINE out of ten holiday photos will be ruined by some fat-headed arsewit wandering into the frame, it has been confirmed.

'I made you a mixtape', Trump tells Putin

DONALD Trump has given Vladmir Putin a mixtape full of his favourite songs about being tough.

Future of Western civilisation at stake thanks to me, says 'proud' Trump

PRESIDENT Trump has warned that the future of Western civilisation stands in the balance if it continues to elect people like him. 

Nuke Alaska, whatever, US tells North Korea

THE US has challenged North Korea to launch a nuclear strike on Alaska to see if they even notice. 

Firing banknotes out of cannon into Channel cheaper than no-deal Brexit

TOP economists have urged the government to consider shooting bundles of £50 notes into the sea as an alternative to a no-deal Brexit.