BRITAIN has withdrawn Donald Trump's invitation to visit and never really wanted him to come in the first place.
SCOTLAND will probably have another independence referendum because of its high percentage of difficult bastards, it has emerged.
BRITAIN’s exit from the European Union is now on course to be completed by the middle of the 26th Century.
DONALD Trump has used his safeword 'covfefe' to end the humiliating fetish game where he pretended to be the worst president ever.
DONALD Trump is sitting uncomprehending through the G20 summit looking up eagerly whenever he hears his own name, aides have confirmed.
DONALD Trump has dismissed the the Vatican as 'low rent' and told the Pope to spend some money on it.
DONALD Trump has confirmed that he is a now a Muslim.
JULIAN Assange has promised to thank Sweden for dropping charges against him by boosting far-right parties at their next election.
PRESIDENT Trump has revealed that the launch code to America's nuclear arsenal is also his television catchphrase.
THE White House has clarified that the new scandal about Russia is completely unconnected with its previous, different, Russian scandal.
DONALD Trump believes that firing the man investigating his collusion with Russia is a really clever solution to the whole problem, he has confirmed.
THERE was huge relief today after just 11 million people in Europe’s second biggest country voted for a neo-Nazi crackpot.