Trump to chew long piece of grass while holding shotgun across his shoulders

International

DONALD Trump has dismissed the the Vatican as 'low rent' and told the Pope to spend some money on it.

DONALD Trump has confirmed that he is a now a Muslim.

JULIAN Assange has promised to thank Sweden for dropping charges against him by boosting far-right parties at their next election.

PRESIDENT Trump has revealed that the launch code to America's nuclear arsenal is also his television catchphrase.

THE White House has clarified that the new scandal about Russia is completely unconnected with its previous, different, Russian scandal.

DONALD Trump believes that firing the man investigating his collusion with Russia is a really clever solution to the whole problem, he has confirmed.

THERE was huge relief today after just 11 million people in Europe’s second biggest country voted for a neo-Nazi crackpot.

THE European Union has strongly denied Theresa May’s claim that the UK’s election is important enough for it to give half a shit about.

EUROPEAN leaders do not seem to realise the EU will collapse when Britain leaves, puzzled Britons have observed.

THE EU has dared to have a list of demands for the Brexit negotiations when it is Britain that will be doing the demanding.

AN idiotic American billionaire has assumed the Tories care about the fate of people in the developing world.

THE Daily Mail has been ordered to pay damages to readers for exposing them to decades of demented tripe.