International
America to remain in darkness until at least 2020
THERE will be a darkness cloaking America for at least the next three years, it has emerged.
Davis brings cake to EU meeting and insists he wants to eat it then somehow take it home
DAVID Davis has turned up to latest round of EU negotiations with a cake that he says he wants to eat but then still have afterwards.
Bannon calls White House to ask if he left sack of wild snakes there
STEVE Bannon called the White House to see if anyone has found a sack containing wild snakes, it has been confirmed.
Trump to chew long piece of grass while holding shotgun across his shoulders
DONALD Trump is to conduct the rest of 'presidency' while balancing a shotgun across the back of his neck and chewing on a piece of grass.
How much money would it take for you to just f**k off? world asks Trump
THE global population has asked Donald Trump to name his price for f**king off and never coming back.
Davis trying to sneak old Ford Fiesta he can't shift into Brexit deal
DAVID Davis has tried to sneak a number of things he has been trying to sell online into the Brexit deal, it has been confirmed.
I like people who shout ‘Hail Trump’, confirms Trump
DONALD Trump has clarified his position on violent white supremacists by confirming that he really likes being 'hailed'.
Trump does not know difference between international diplomacy and Wrestlemania
SENIOR White House staff are attempting to teach President Trump the difference between sensitive international diplomacy and trash-talking a Hell In A Cell opponent.
Sending a postcard the most pain-in-the-arse thing to do on holiday
MASTERING a foreign country's postal system to send two sentences to a relative ruins holidays, Britain has agreed.
Vain, petty nutjob finally meets his equal
NORTH Korean leader Kim Jong-un has finally met a leader as powerful, vain, petty and intellectually limited as he is, he has confirmed.
Holidaying Trump reveals true tentacled form
ALIEN creature Donald Trump has dropped its human being disguise while on holiday.
Trump leaves rambling, 32,000-word out-of-office message
PRESIDENT Trump has left a 32,000-word out-of-office email message, including discussion of the electoral college and his daughter’s business, for while he is away.