DONALD Trump has claimed that there are bad factions on both sides of the hurricane that hit America this weekend.
THERE will be a darkness cloaking America for at least the next three years, it has emerged.
DAVID Davis has turned up to latest round of EU negotiations with a cake that he says he wants to eat but then still have afterwards.
STEVE Bannon called the White House to see if anyone has found a sack containing wild snakes, it has been confirmed.
DONALD Trump is to conduct the rest of 'presidency' while balancing a shotgun across the back of his neck and chewing on a piece of grass.
THE global population has asked Donald Trump to name his price for f**king off and never coming back.
DAVID Davis has tried to sneak a number of things he has been trying to sell online into the Brexit deal, it has been confirmed.
DONALD Trump has clarified his position on violent white supremacists by confirming that he really likes being 'hailed'.
SENIOR White House staff are attempting to teach President Trump the difference between sensitive international diplomacy and trash-talking a Hell In A Cell opponent.
MASTERING a foreign country's postal system to send two sentences to a relative ruins holidays, Britain has agreed.
NORTH Korean leader Kim Jong-un has finally met a leader as powerful, vain, petty and intellectually limited as he is, he has confirmed.
ALIEN creature Donald Trump has dropped its human being disguise while on holiday.