EU CITIZENS have been told if they can manage five consecutive years in the twat factory that is Britain, they can stay for life.
Davis tells room full of people who can speak German that they'd all be speaking German if it wasn't for us
DAVID Davis has told a room full of people who can speak German that if it was not for Britain they would all be speaking German.
ENGLAND has been surprised to learn that not everyone in Scotland is a foul-mouthed manual worker on the minimum wage.
DAVID Davis was forced to surrender his trousers during the first day of Brexit talks, it has been confirmed.
JEAN Claude Juncker has opened Brexit negotiations with the UK by chuckling away like an easily amused child.
MONDAY’S talks with the EU will go ahead without British involvement because what could be more Brexit, the government has confirmed.
BRITAIN has withdrawn Donald Trump's invitation to visit and never really wanted him to come in the first place.
SCOTLAND will probably have another independence referendum because of its high percentage of difficult bastards, it has emerged.
BRITAIN’s exit from the European Union is now on course to be completed by the middle of the 26th Century.
DONALD Trump has used his safeword 'covfefe' to end the humiliating fetish game where he pretended to be the worst president ever.
DONALD Trump is sitting uncomprehending through the G20 summit looking up eagerly whenever he hears his own name, aides have confirmed.
DONALD Trump has dismissed the the Vatican as 'low rent' and told the Pope to spend some money on it.