THE Daily Mail has been ordered to pay damages to readers for exposing them to decades of demented tripe.
A CRAMPED, overheating man would not mind being forcibly bundled off his Ryanair flight.
THE human race has expressed concern that everyone in charge appears to be utterly demented.
DONALD Trump and Vladimir Putin have had the first nasty row of their until-now harmonious relationship.
CHINA'S leader has been reflecting on why he must travel so far to meet a moron.
A SOBBING Nigel Farage has told his fellow MEPs that they are his truest friends and leaving them will be the greatest sorrow of his life.
A MEMBER of Gibraltar’s monkey population feels more European than British, he has confirmed.
THE best way to make Britain great again is to invade resource-rich territories and enslave their people, Boris Johnson has claimed.
EU LEADERS are puzzled about why Britain wrote them a letter in the age of electronic communication.
PEOPLE who are generally not that engaged with world events have stepped up to defend stretchy jogging bottoms.
A PASSENGER on a Jeddah-London flight has explained that while laptops may be banned he has a MacBook, which is different.
GCHQ HAS confirmed that Donald Trump’s private communications are nothing but the same meaningless bollocks he says in public.