America to remain in darkness until at least 2020

International

DONALD Trump believes that firing the man investigating his collusion with Russia is a really clever solution to the whole problem, he has confirmed.

THERE was huge relief today after just 11 million people in Europe’s second biggest country voted for a neo-Nazi crackpot.

THE European Union has strongly denied Theresa May’s claim that the UK’s election is important enough for it to give half a shit about.

EUROPEAN leaders do not seem to realise the EU will collapse when Britain leaves, puzzled Britons have observed.

THE EU has dared to have a list of demands for the Brexit negotiations when it is Britain that will be doing the demanding.

AN idiotic American billionaire has assumed the Tories care about the fate of people in the developing world.

THE Daily Mail has been ordered to pay damages to readers for exposing them to decades of demented tripe.

A CRAMPED, overheating man would not mind being forcibly bundled off his Ryanair flight.

THE human race has expressed concern that everyone in charge appears to be utterly demented.

DONALD Trump and Vladimir Putin have had the first nasty row of their until-now harmonious relationship.

CHINA'S leader has been reflecting on why he must travel so far to meet a moron.

A SOBBING Nigel Farage has told his fellow MEPs that they are his truest friends and leaving them will be the greatest sorrow of his life.