International

Russia ‘hacking Crufts for years’

RUSSIA has been hacking the Crufts computers to make all the weird-looking dogs win, it has emerged.

Trump launches ‘Trumpbook’

DONALD Trump has launched a social networking site just for him and his insane followers.

Saudi king assumes May got permission from husband before 'slapping down' Boris Johnson

SAUDI Arabia has welcomed Theresa May’s decision to criticise Boris Johnson on the basis that she must have cleared it with her husband.

Far-right weirdo loses election in major shock to status quo

A POPULIST politician who hates immigrants has shockingly lost an election.

Oh shit, Trump taking this seriously

DONALD Trump’s announcement that he will leave his businesses for the presidency has left humanity terrified he is taking the job seriously.

EU amazed that Brexit plan covers whole side of A4

EUROPEAN Union officials are astonished that Britain's Brexit plan goes all the way to the bottom of an A4 page. 

Castro successfully outlived America

FIDEL Castro decided his life was complete after watching America destroy itself, it has emerged.

Castro mourned by people who have confused him with Che Guevara

PEOPLE who think Fidel Castro was Che Guevara are mourning his death.

Trump to play saxophone for first time at Presidential inauguration

PRESIDENT-ELECT Donald Trump will play a saxophone set at his January inauguration despite never having played it before.

UK Debt Relief Appeal concert set for 2022

AN ALL-STAR concert to help poverty-stricken Britain has been scheduled for Brazil in 2022.

British sovereignty best served by UK becoming 51st state, says Farage

BRITISH sovereignty can only be saved by the UK becoming part of the United States, Nigel Farage has claimed.

It would get the little prick out of the country, realises Britain

BRITAIN has realised there is an obvious upside to making Nigel Farage ambassador to the US.